A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok so here I go. So I can really be into a girl, but then once I have sex with her, something kicks in and I lose interest. Its kind of like I find something that I dislike after we have been intimate. In most cases I wouldn't care, but its affecting the way interact with women, I becoming afraid of initiating a relationship because of this curse. So does anyone have a clue about what might be causing this without actually knowing me. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): It's because you think of a woman in your bed as a disposable plate, once you done w/dinner it needs to be cleaned up. You can train yourself to think about your (even ocassional) partner's feelings.Once you stop thinking of a woman as an obgect, you will descover that sex can be love making, even if it's for one night, not just animal act.Watch movie w Travolta, forgot the name. where he plays an angel. He picks up a girl, takes her to bed, just for one night, and makes love to her. Next morning, she leaves his house, jumping w/ joy, as during that night, may be the only night they spent together, he gave her all the love she needed.That's a very good question, and i am glad your attitude toward sexual encounters bothers you. That's the first step.If men only knew how we feel inside the morning after, when we feel that we were treated as an objects, and a man that we just had sex with can't wait for us to leave and dissapear. This is such a lonely and sad feeling, that can't be compared to anything.Women also like sex very much, and would do it without playing games, hard to catch and so on..., if we get what we want from casual sex. But we ussualy don't get what we want, even orgazms, as men in general don't really care about woman's need if it comes only for that one night.This is very common behavour: man gets up immediately after sex and does somth. like seats at the computer, or texts. They won't even spend a night, something really quick, may be an hour, the most. This a typical man's behavour, if it's a casual encounter. Well, i am really glad you started thinking about it. Work on changing your attitude and way of thinking, you'll be happier person when it comes to sex.
A
male
reader, showoff201 +, writes (25 June 2010):
Maybe... and this is just a thought! But its quite possible that your putting sex on a pedestal. Its overrated bro.! Especially when you do it the night you meet a girl! Let sum chemistry build up before you sleep with a girl and I promise you that u wont have this problem!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): maybe wait longer to have sex after seeing someone for some time- so when you have sex it isnt just an act of sex, it is an act of love, that sex becomes truly an intimate thing with someone you care for and know on a different level than these other women.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): because you don't love them. believe me when you fall truly in love the last thing you will be thinking of is having sex. you will only be thinking how to keep them for good.
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A
female
reader, Blonde_J  +, writes (25 June 2010):
I think the phrase 'the thrill of the chase' might apply. Think about it - up until you sleep with the girl your really into, there is always that degree of uncertainty - is she really into you, will it turn into something - plus the anticipation of actually getting her in the sack - its exciting. Once the deed is done all that goes away - you know she likes you, you know a relationship is an option. And as frustrating as it sounds that kind of security can feel - well boring. I know that I've done similar things with guys - been totally head over heels until the deed is done then rapidly lose interest after. No easy solution to this one - you can either put off sex until your wedding night (which isn't really an option here) or you've got to try and train yourself not to put a relationship tag on sex. Make it just something you do with a girls your interested in - then maybe once its done you'll focus on all the other things you don't know about this person and get excited about that instead.
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A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (25 June 2010):
 I went to Arizona once... saw a few cool things, went put-putting and got to the finale, the Grand canyon. Well that's about all there was to see in Arizona, so I never went back.
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A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom +, writes (25 June 2010):
 Perhaps maybe you look for things that you find sexually attractive instead of looking for the things you want in a relationship. Make a list of the things you want in a relationship, and go for girls that have at least half of those factors. Then maybe you'll still have something to hang on for after the sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): When you meet the next girl that you really like, dont have sex. Rather take things slowly. Give the relationship a chance to become something.
Sex early on in a relationship can be detrimental to the development of the relationship, so take things slowly.
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