A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well here's my situation. Over the years at school, there have been two or 3 boys that I'd get a crush on, never talk to, and then the feeling would fade. Well, I have a new crush, the only difference, is that we have a lot in common with music and such and I really want to talk to him. I guess the advice I'm looking for is what do you do when you're too nervous to talk to boys? At school, people see me as the 'nice smart girl who I can talk to if I have a question on homework or if I need to borrow a pencil or pen.' People don't see me as someone interesting to talk to because I'm quiet which is only because I get nervous. When I'm with my friends, I'm usually pretty hyper and loud and goofy. But in front of guys I like I get nervous, quiet, and I just make myself look like a fool. A problem I have is that when I try to talk to them, for some reason I try to be funny and impress them, and it's like impossible for me to be myself. My immediate reaction is to impress. And it just turns into a mess. What I don't understand, is that I like being in plays, giving speeches, reading out loud for the class, I've sung in a talent show twice, so if I can do all that, why can't I talk to a simple guy?It's my senior year, and I'm going to be 17 in two weeks. I don't want to end my senior year not having a date to the prom and not getting a chance to possibly date someone I have stuff in common with. But what can I do when I'm nervous and mess things up when I talk to him?
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male
reader, Kyle007 +, writes (21 August 2011):
Here is a good guideline: You see, you are nervous because you want the guy to be interested in YOU. And that is where you are fowling up all the time. Don't try to impress him. Don't steer his interest toward you. And don't necessarily put your interest on him either. Instead, both of you be interested in something together. Its like this, consider two people at a museum both admiring the same work of art. They are communicating to each other, but not about each other. No one gets self-conscious in that situation. So talk about what interests you, or talk about what interests him. You can talk about each other later on when you are more comfortable with that person and less nervous.
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