A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don't know if anyone here can really help me with this but here it goes. Im currently 21 and over the years I have grown to hate women despite being raised in a loving household with loving mother and sisters it just happened I felt this way about the opposite sex. In thinking this way I have felt inferiority but I do know when I started to feel this way. It was my sophomore year in high school and I had my first real crush. Well this girl lead me on and do what girls do best and made me feel the worst heartache I ever felt. Ever since then I started to hate women and despise them and turned from a nice guy to a real hurtful guy mainly to myself. Im always hard on myself telling myself im ugly and not tall enough. I decided that women aren't worth my time and cut all contact from them but have still managed to hold on to a few close female friends mainly because they understand what I have been going through. I feel so embarrassed at times because I have matured and gotten over some hate and apologized to people I was so hurtful too in the past but I cant not give myself to a woman now. Every time I get close to having a girlfriend or a close relationship I get scared and run away. Is there anyway to fix me or am I stuck like this forever?
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (21 August 2011):
 You can find help. But you need to reach out for help in order to get it. You don't have to stay like this forever, at least it is too early to make that prediction. Seek a therapist, a psychiatrist or psychologist. They might be expensive, or have a long waiting list, but it is your mental health that is on the line here, and your chance at happiness in life. Getting help is worth it. Search for different therapist, find someone who suits you, and start getting help.
You have come a good way on your own dealing with this, but with the help of someone professional you can get so much further. They understand, and provide insight, they're knowledgeable, and you would benefit from seeing one.
That is the best for of help you can give yourself.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2011): It's natural to feel this way after the first time turned out to be a real mess. In love we are most vulnerable. It can make you as well as break you. That is the price we all pay. The good thing is that the world is not always so cruel as it is painted to be. You can still find goodness if you know where to look. The important thing is to never give in and stay away from the poisonous folk. Always be true to yourself.
With kind regards, I bid you a good day.
P.S. Don't be afraid to challenge those negative thoughts. You'll find that a person's worst critic tends to be him/herself.
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A
male
reader, Daniel the love doctor +, writes (21 August 2011):
 Well you definitely need to read the article I've written for this site called "The Top 3 Fears That Prevent Successful Relationships". I think that you could relate to a few things I've mentioned.But I'm sorry that you've been through so much hurt when it comes to women. But as unfortunate as it may be, it's apart of life. Everybody at some point in their life is hurt, betrayed, or rejected. But you need to realize that not all women are bad- or are looking to hurt you emotionally. You just have to keep searching until you find that right one. Even if you experience a little bit more hurt along the way, once you do find that special girl, you'll appreciate her so much more.I would also advise you to seek out a counselor, support group, or therapist for additional help. You have to FIRST rebuild yourself before you could even begin to get involved with someone else. I hope this helps...and I wish you the very best of luck!
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