A
female
age
36-40,
*ngel2011
writes:Hi everyone.I don't know if I am at right place to seek advice.I don't know where to start from, to explain my issue. So I writing every thing in detail. Sorry for the long long story.OK. I am 24 yr old Hindu gal and the guy I have issue with is 21 yr old Malayali Christian.In 2006, I started a part-time student job at a restaurant as front staff. Then this guy started working at the same place in 2007 as part-time student too. In the beginning we were like just friendly to each other sometimes jokes, arguments, teasing each other etc. Then after a year and a half or so, he changed his attitude towards me like talking less, showing kindness, sometimes smiling sometimes staring and sometimes serious. Then one day while i was just talking with one of his friend who is also my co-worker slipped out of his mouth that this guy has crush on me. I just heard it and went away from there. I didnt take it seriously. He must have thought i didnt hear it. Then the same attitude was continued.Then I went to india for a month for vacation. When I came back from india, I noticed some kind of happiness on his face when we saw each other. Even myself . I dont know why. And he continued the same attitude again. yet i was behaving normally with him as I used to. Then he started staring at me sometimes from outside the store through a glass window where he used to park his car at distance in a parking lot right across the window, whenever i had a shift to work and he doesn't. Days passed away like that.Sometimes we used to have shift at different days and different timings. At those times I started having this strange feeling. Like i used to miss him, eager to see him. When I see him I used to be happy. And sometimes when we used to work together, i used to ask him for help for silly things. But, Still we didnt communicate with each other that much.Then in 2009 beginning of the summer, I got admission from a university(which is very far away from that place) to start from September. So I informed my manager about it that i have to quit the job in two months. Somehow everyone came to knew about it including him. Then I noticed he seemed upset. He didnt try to show it but i read his face. Everyone were asking questions about me leaving but he didnt. He started taking night shifts and I used to hardly see him. Then on the last day of my job, everyone came to the workplace to say me bye even his friends and he didnt. I was looking over all my shift if he comes and says bye to me. he didnt. My shift was over , my dad came to pick me up. And as i stepped outside, what i see is, he sitting in his car next to my dads car, just seeing me leaving. That last eye contact continuously for like a min was extremely painful for me. I couldnt speak to him coz my dad was next to me.Now at present since i have come here so far. Its been a more than a year and, I keep thinking of him always, dream of him. But I cant contact him neither can he as i dont know his phone no. I cant even go and meet him as I live so far now.At one side I need him but at the same time i dint want to fall in this pit as :-1)first of all, if I think ahead, our relationship will not be accepted at all by my parents coz of age difference and different religion.2)I dont know if he still likes me or not and if he does is it more than just a crush or not?3) i have no clue where to start from to know about this. I dont know if he is still working there or not.4) I think even if I go back to him and then even with our efforts we cant be together coz of our parents, he will be in more pain after that more than, when he was in pain while i was leaving the job. This was the main reason for not talking to him about what he feels for me.But now i am helpless. Why I keep thinking of him, dreaming of him? I feel like something is dragging me.please give me suggestions.
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christian, co-worker, crush, teasing, university, workplace Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Denissia  +, writes (20 January 2011):
 Simple,a man is not in love unless he stares at you and wants to be around you all the time. You will come to know someday soon,i hope...
A
female
reader, angel2011 +, writes (20 January 2011):
angel2011 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advice. But how can you say that this is love?
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A
female
reader, Denissia +, writes (19 January 2011):
Okay honey,this sounds like true love. Your guy is utterly madly in love with you. Time will not change his feelings,he may have a few flings because he is human but i felt what you are feeling when i read your story. This may be fate,reach out to him,it will fall into place that you will cross paths again trust me,when you get older you will realize religion will not be in the way. Go for it girl,but still play hard to get,but still profess your feelings too him,this way he will not give up on you,and trust me he will not reject you. The day before you go to find him prayer about it,say you would like to cross paths with him again and just keep thinking about him,that is the only way your dreams will stop.That is if you love him too,but dont deny that you do,evrything you said i feeel for someone right now,i moved on and he never gave up on me,and now i have him to lean on because it is true love,i told my friend im in love with him even tho i disappeared for a year with another,he forgave me and is reciprocating my feelings ten fold. This is love,do not back away and somehow get in touch with him if this is what you want. You go girl!
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