A
female
age
30-35,
*emmahardy
writes:Hello, for the last few months I have felt so ugly, and useless. People say the opposite yet I always seem to see the bad side of myself and I don't see it in the mirror! I feel really unloved when it comes to boys, my home life's okay - but there tends to be at least an argument a day with my parents! I also feel so fat at times, and again people say the opposite, yet I feel like they lie just to make me feel better. Why do I keep putting myself down if others see different? It's really annoying, and my confidence is going down! Please help me on some tips to see the "better" side of myself? xxx
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female
reader, sarahbert +, writes (23 November 2008):
Ok, when i saw your post, i wasn't surprised at all!I mean, there are thousands of teenagers who think they are ygly when the truth is, they are gorgeous unique young women.Just stop trying to find the bad sides to you, because nobody's perfect! If people are saying that your not ugly,maybe you should listen to them, dont listen to the bad voices in your head telling you different. Those are just doubts.When you look in the mirror, say 5 good things about your appearance. Dont think about the bad things.If you see a sexy supermodel on the magazine or TV, dont compare yourself to them!Just think to yourself: God made me like this because I am his special gift.Just think of all those people who were born with a long nose or a deformed head. Then think of the way YOU look.If somebody tries to put you down, just hold your head up high and do not have any time for haters!!Everybody says your pretty becaused its the truth, not to make you feel better!!Seriously trust me, I used to have low self esteem too, but I gained more confidence with the mirror exercise.Good luck and I really hope this helps.
A
female
reader, vamp-gal +, writes (22 November 2008):
 Hey,
It's common for girls to see the bad side in themselves, instead of looking for the great things, the think of one small thing and let themselves think it's a bigger issue than it actually is.
I agree with Teacake, don't comapre yourself to others around you, just take notice of yourself and it will make you realize how happy you are to be yourself, which will make your confidence grow.
Now, about the arguments with your parents, I don't know what to say, but it'll work out, just don't give them anything for you guys to argue about, not that it's always your fault, because sometimes, it can be their fault, but at least you know it's not your fault your arguing, or to make life easier, if you feel an argument coming on, say sorry, before it can esculate.
And about the boys, don't worry about it, someone will realize how lucky they are to have you, just wait and see.
I really hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, Teacake  +, writes (22 November 2008):
 I think this is normal for girls you age all over the world. The awkward stage from childhood into adulthood. Your body is changing as well as your hormones and other body chemistry.
Try not to compare yourself to others for one. Also, realize this is just a phase you are going though. Girls tend to find a lot of things they don't like about themselves. But why should we be so mean to ourself? We are usually more judgmental of ourselves than of others!
Hopefully the others here have some tips about how to beat insecurity. We are usually way to hard on ourself, so just understand that you are being overly critical and that this will pass soon.
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