A
female
age
41-50,
*ars
writes: Help! I have been with my bf for almost 2 years and I keep pushing him away. We have a very loving relationship and life would be perfect if I didn't keep getting paeranoid that he was going to dump me! I struggle not to ask if we're ok all the time and when I can't resist and do ask, I don't always believe his answer. There shouldn't be any reason for me not to trust him. He's never done anything to make me think he doesn't love me or that he's going to finish it but if I don't stop this madness I wouldn't blame him if he did. I have tried to explain to him the way I feel and he's very understanding but I don't want to feel like this anymore. I love him and just want to feel secure! I have very low self confidence (obviously) and don't feel that I am good enough for him even though he reassures me that he is happy and doesn't want to be with anyone else. What can I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (23 September 2009):
Is there something in your past that's preventing you from feeling secure? Have you been hurt before by someone or something? Usually that's the problem. If it is, talk about the problem with your boyfriend. He sounds very understanding, so he'll listen.
If it's just a confidence thing, then you've got to start building it up. A hobby or something like that?
You're not a bad woman or anything, you just sound like you've been hurt. Get the hurt out in the open and then you'll start to move on.
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