A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Why do I have the worst luck when it comes to women? It never fails. All of the women I meet and take an interest in turn out to already have boyfriends. I meet these women in a variety of settings so location really isn't an issue. Whether I meet them through friends, at work, or back when I was in college, they all turn out to already be taken. It's not like my standards are super restrictive either. I'm 25, never had a girlfriend, have lived the single life for a while, and I can safely say that I'm getting tired of it. I'm sick of seeing close friends and family find that special someone, get married and start their own families. When does my turn come around? It's like there's some sick sadistic higher power out there that takes joy in torturing me with loneliness.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLuck may be when preparation meets opportunity, but I've still yet to get such an opportunity. Something always seems to get in the way. She already has a boyfriend, She's not interested, She sees me as "just a friend", She's too far away from where I'm at, etc. The list goes on, but those are the most common problems.
Yes, I know for a fact that these women are already taken. It's usually something they bring up in conversation indirectly. Usually how she and her boyfriend did whatever over the weekend. That or I end up meeting the guy.
I'd like to think that I'm pretty self sufficient and independent. I have a college degree, I'm serving in the military (Soon to be getting out though), been all over the world and back again, lived in foreign countries, and been downrange and come back in one piece.
Yes, I'm the kind of guy that is looking for a long term relationship. How do you establish that you are looking for such a relationship right off the bat? Sounds like you would have better luck with scaring someone off doing this than anything else. How do stay out of the friends zone while getting to know someone and transition to something more?
Kind of hard not being ashamed of never having a girlfriend. It inevitably comes up whenever I'm around family and relatives. My close friends and relatives are getting married and starting families while I've never even dated anyone. I have no experience when it comes to women. I feel like everyone I know has moved on and progressed with their lives and I've just been left behind.
It's not that I don't enjoy my single life and get out with friends. I'm just seeing more frequently what I'm missing out on. I want so badly to find someone special to share my life with. It seems so easy for everyone else for some reason. I don't think that I'm trying too hard and looking desperate. I try not to outwardly show how lonely I feel. Meanwhile I just put my happy face on everyday and keep going.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011): Awww take a deep breathe your only 25 sometimes these things take time i dont know why you keep meeting girls who are already taken but there are plenty of girls out there maybe you should try dating sites or just ask a girl out who doesnt have a man and see where things go dont give up bet your charming funny and smart youl be okay just relax any girl would love to be your 1st
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (2 January 2011):
 there is no sadistic higher power that takes joy in torturing you with loneliness, ultimately we are the creators of our own reality. I think that you are putting all the energies you have into the lack of, in not having a relationship, into being lonely, and what we put our energies into gets bigger and bigger.
Jmtmj was right when he used the word preperation, Try to focus and visualise youself in the perfect relationship, feel the setting, the ambience, what does she look like, feel like, smell like, imagine you are both doing something that excites you and gets your emotions going. By doing this you are focusing on positive aspects and not the negative, and in turn you are raising your own vibrations, and you will feel more confident, which if you keep doing this members of the opposite sex will pick up on your raised vibrations and respond accordingly. Try just taking 10, maybe 15 everyday and adopt this visualisation technique, whilst concentrating on you breathing too, its worth a try.
Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011): Thanks for your question. Do you know these women are taken for a fact? What is your strategy for sensing if a woman has a genuine interest in you? Sometimes they can lead on no doubt there. Id try establishing with any woman you meet off the bat what you are looking for i e a serious relationship it sounds. Go on the hunt for that, bring it up at a good time, and hopefully thatll save you some frustration because you wont have feelings for the girl if u bring it up soon enough. Dont look at it as everyone is taken! Look at it as I have lots of opporntunity I just havent found the woman yet. Dont be ashamed of not having a GF either man... you can never build yourself up enough with confidence and self sufficiency, women love that s*it and see it instantly. They do like an independent guy who is not dependent. Good luck pal. Message me any time.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (2 January 2011):
 The formula for luck is when preparation meets opportunity.
Take from that what you will, but what I take from it personally is that if one waits for luck to just come around and reward randomly... you're gonna be left wanting.
Don't blame luck... blame your preparation.
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