A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok this isn't really a problem but I'm just curious. When I masturbate and I orgasm I have spasms that I can feel. However when me and my boyfriend have sex I come just as hard, but I don't have these spasms. He thinks I'm faking, and that he can't make me cum because I don't spasm and the girls he's been with before he's always felt them orgasm. I think this doesn't do a lot for our sex life or his self esteem because he gets off on me getting off, and he can't tell that I am, even though I reassure him I'm not, he thinks I'm faking. My question is, is their any way to strengthen my muscles to spasm when I'm having sex or a particular position or anything?
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muscle, orgasm, self esteem, sex life Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (24 July 2012):
We all have varied reactions and I agree with your boyfriend that it is nice to get positive feedback. Don't rely on your body to spasm. Use yourmouth and tell him what feels good and when you are going to orgasm. You don't need to scream like a porn star. Just a quiet Oh yes! is all thats needed! Tell you bf to relax and that you will certainly tell him if he dares cum before you!!
A
female
reader, BondGirl72  +, writes (24 July 2012):
 This may seem strange, but with me, I find a lot of it has to do with how turned on I am. If I am tired, stressed, or worried about something, my orgasms aren't as intense. However, if I am completely in the moment and my body is rested and relaxed, I will have very intense orgasms. It could also be that you are still not completely comfortable having sex with your boyfriend and you are holding back a bit or are a little self-conscious.
I wish your boyfriend was not accusing you of not being able to orgasm because this is going to put even more pressure on you. Mental pressure during sex is not good and will cause even more trouble. Tell him to lay off and take your word for it.
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