A
female
age
36-40,
*arahmb223
writes:*I need some ones help please*im in a really horrible place right now in my head and i need someone point view and help on my situation,it would be greatly appreciated.ok so im 24 yrs old and have been with my boyfriend for almost 9 years. he is 23 yrs old. we have lived on and off with each other since 2006 until this past year we have not been living together.i work alot so im only staying over with him about 2 and half weeks out of the month. sometimes i get back from visiting and we wont talk for 3 days sometimes.and the past couple months he has been been paranoid of me cheating on him cause we arent together all the time. now i know it that sounds like he is guilty of something right? but just about 11 months ago i sent a nude picture to and old friend and he found out. so i thought maybe this i why he was acting this way. well yesterday i decided to snoop a but in his emails and found facebook emails saying this girl tagged him in a photo and she wrote a few picture comments.so i wne ton his facebook and found that he never aproved these notifications. i looked at the pictures she tagged him in but he wasnt in the pictures with her. one of the pictures was taken on out bed and she wrote :relaxing watching netflix with my boyfriend {his name was tagged} so i freaked out b/c i have no clue who this woman is! also i noticed he had her blocked! so i logged on my fb and wrote her.i was really upset so i said who the f are you? laying on my f***ing next to my man? What i meant to write was laying on my f**king bed,next to my man! and she replies like this:Excuse me BITCH?You don't know me! You best watch who you talk to like that!! You got me fucked up don't get it it twisted little girl IM NOT THE WOMAN YOU TALK TO LIKE THAT!Your man is a friend of mine. And yeah we fucked he loved my pretty pu**y too and how it tasted.But that was a long time ago.Put yo man in check don't even think about coming at me crazy. I am not the one!!!Then the last time I talked to him he said y'all don't see other people anymore. So we don't see each other like that anymore. So you can stop talking crazy now. And don't call me a bitch, I am a nice person and a loving person and I have 3 kids and my own man I am working on my own relationship. So keep your drama to yourself!He said you and him had an open relationship that y'all were swingers! i wrote this between what she said but i was quite angry calling her a nasty s**t and stuff and saying we have been togeather and we dont have an open relationship! because we dont or if we do it was only one sided! cause i wasnt cheating nor have i have actually slept,kissed,touched another man the whole relationshipthis is what she wrote back:And believe me I am not a nasty ho and never have been. Don't talk shit you don't even know me. I am and never was slutty by any means. Always had a boyfriend and you shouldn't talk shit to people you don't know with out any knowledge of the true facts.Fix your relationship! I didn't ruin it. I am not a nasty ho. So you can take that image and remove it from your mind. I'm a grown woman, And I'm beautiful and can have any man I want. I don't want your man you can keep him.Him and I were only friends.We never even messed around. So I don't know who said that. Your stupid. He was just my friend.Have a nice daythen i write this"dude your a lieing as bitchtell me then what does his c***k look like and how big is it? if your so smart?tell me something i know b***h cuz i bet your a lieing.yea thast what i thought.then she replies like this"You don't know me, and I sure didn't ruin your relationship. I hope you two can fix it. And I assure you I don't even talk to him. But he's a good person. And I don't even like guys anymore I want to break up with my boyfriend and be a lesbian. Haha.then i reply like this :k thast nice and all but you are lieing thru your teeth tell how big would you say his c**k was and i will beleive ypu!the her replie is this:No I don't know what his c***k looks like. I said we were only friends.Really ok well I can and every ex boyfriend I have had tries to get me back. And every relationship I have been in the Man purposes and wants to mary me. I am far from nasty. So you can stop now like I said!! You don't even know me!THEN THIS IS MY REPLY:ok thast fine do what you do girl but dont go lieing about f****ing my boyfriend its either you did or didnt?you are majorly contradicting yourself here.trhen this is her reply"No I didn't f**k him! He just a friend. He coo, he did tell me about you and he been with you like forever and that he gonna mary you someday.You came at me crazy so I went along with you. Cuz I am hella crazy. I haven't took my crazy pill yet today.amd this goes on a bit more but this is the most important parts. i know this conversation is crazy but i was upset,really upset! so i finally get a hold of him in the middle of us writing eachother back.also i found out they and three other friends went on a hike together. i basicly said you cheated on me with her and all this ect and he was acting pretty damn calm about it. whichi thought was weird. he told me she was a friend and she staring acting weird on fb so he blocked her. but i said why didnt you tell me about her! she is like 10m years older than me! and the complete opposite of me! he toild me she liked him a lot like! trying to sit nextt o him and stuff. he said they have only been arounf eachother 3 times.i have no idea what to think or say or even how to feel. my heart is broken. i feel like my world is ended b/c we were so close me and him and i dony know how he could o this if he did. why would this "woman" thinks it would be funny to mess with my head like that? His reation was calm but at the same time almost surtprised and now after the first day he is upset and sad but there is anger but not towards me.anger towards her.he didnt whatsoever get defensive or angry that i kept accusing him!he and she has said they havnt talked in between me writing her but tomorrow im going to ask for him to call her in front of me and let me listen,if he has nothing to hide then this should be no problem right?i need someones outside view on this please! i dont know what else to do or who to talk to.so my question is what part of what she wrote me is the truth and what isnt? if someone is a specialist in distinguishing the difference between a lie and the truth who could look at what she wrote and help me or maybe just someone who is really good at knowing the difference between a lie and the truth would also be helpful. thank-you thank-you
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cheated on me, facebook, lesbian, swinging Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2012): You wrote,
about 11 months ago i sent a nude picture to and old friend and he found out
you also say you are 24 and have been with your bf for 9 years, since you were 15? and you somehow find a reason to send an "old friend" a nude picture, sounds like you are the one who is cheating.
A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (25 July 2012):
 And as you can tell...I totally disagree with the other two aunts. Your boyfriend has given you NO reason to mistrust him. His story checked out. Everyone has a past and he does too...regardless of what it is. If he liked the chick, he'd be communicating with her on FB, but he isn't. He's with YOU.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (25 July 2012):
Ok, first of all, you should not be contacting other women to accuse them of doing things with your boyfriend. Other women are none of your concern. YOUR BOYFRIEND and his activities are your concern.
Before I start, I want to preface this comment with the following: Facebook is nothing but trouble. It has always been trouble and always well be trouble. It has caused numerous issues between people that likely didn't even exist. So, stop relying so much on Facebook.
If you have a question about your man, you ask your man directly. He was probably so calm because he had nothing to hide. When you have nothing to hide, that is how you act.
I personally think you WAY overreacted to this. If he told you he saw the chick three times and he blocked her because she was starting to get weird on FB, I would believe him. It would be different if he was communicating with her all the time. HE ISN'T. It would be different if you had seen weird behavior from him, but you haven't. You'd better start trusting your guy because I don't think he's going to stick around if you keep accusing him of things.
As for "this women messing with your head"...you are messing with your own head. You saw a picture and overreacted. Hell, I have pictures from high school with two guys who were just friends and we were in bed fully clothed just taking stupid pictures. One of the guys was gay!!! You need to calm down and stop making up stories in your head.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2012): I believe she didn't engage in sexual intercourse with your man. But, (i'm sorry about this), i know crazy...and I don't think she is lying about your boyfriend performing oral sex on her.What man in a long term relationship lies in bed, alone with a woman he isn't in a relationship with?! Why was he so stupid as to put himself in such a position?He honestly regrets his actions...that is why he is sad. But it doesn't change the fact that he cheated on you with at least one woman. She honestly doesn't care what happens to either of you. Bitch is crazy! Bitch lives, breathes, and eats drama and leaves nothing but chaos behind where she's been. He didn't even try to deny it like he would if someone accused him of stealing something. (if you want to hear how he reacts to being accused of something he didn't do, have one of your friends accuse him of stealing something like cash from a purse or wallet left out. His reaction to being accused of stealing is the same reaction you should have seen/heard when you accused him of cheating IF he hadn't cheated) honestly, if he had any sense about him, going to come out eventually because he played around with a crazy (narcissistic bipolar?) woman.If you want to stay in this relationship, you both need to Work on it. Additionally, any woman who would stir up trouble with a male "friend's" relationship...isn't really a friend to either of you. For your relationship to work, she has to be thrown out of the picture. No talking on facebook, no phone calls, no texts, and no more physical meetings. You must put your foot down an demand that he no longer responds to her or contacts her at all. As far as you are concerned, he needs to be clear that it is her or you. If he says that is unfair or tries to keep her around, you must follow through and end your relationship.Right now, i am in an 8 year relationship. I know he cheated on me recently. He has denied it. He continues to lie to me. Last night he promised he would stop lying (these lies are about stupid pointless things, but i can't trust a liar! And trust is the important foundation that a relationhip is supposed to be built on.) so, i've decided if he doesn't follow through, i'm moving out while he is out of town in two weeks.Watch out for that bitch if your boyfriend agrees to cut off contact. You both will probably need restraining orders against her. Do not be suprised if she tries to harm you. You may get jumped (don't go anywhere alone!) because she embraces her crazy, you must prepare yourself if you choose your relationship.If your safety is at risk (especially if he continues to disrespect you), you can just end things. You don't even have to tell him. Just break off all contact with him, don't respond to calls, texts, emails, etc. just take your pride, walk the other way with your head held high, and don't look back.
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