A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I'm having a really huge problem, everytime I'm with my boyfriend and we see a good looking woman, I immediately think that my boyfriend likes her, and thinks that she's better than me. I know it's ridiculous, but my jealousy is ruining our relationship, and I've considered breaking up with him many times just so I don't get hurt by it anymore. I really need advice, please help x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2008): Hi
Just think the worst case scenario and in your mind act like he has done it and the FEAR will start to fade...sounds crazy but it may work. good luck and never loose sight of your beauty and dint let jealousy taint it!
GOOD LUCK
A
female
reader, Curiousbynature  +, writes (13 August 2008):
Just chill out. Every man looks at other women, if he did not want to be with you, he wouldnt.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2008): Stop thinking he will leave you for these women he doesn't even know. If he's with you, he's chosen you over all the other girls.
Build self confidence. Jealousy is usually a by-product of insecurity and low self-esteem. Whether you feel bad about yourself because others have something you don't, or you have a deep-rooted fear of abandonment that someone will leave you because you're "not good enough," you need to learn that other people's behavior and lives are not a reflection on you. Confident people know that even when they are rejected or ridiculed, it's not always because they failed; sometimes people are just short-sighted. And even if they do fail, it doesn't reduce their worth; it simply means they need to learn something new.
Stop comparing yourself to other people. Some people seem to have it all, but be realistic--does anyone really lead a problem-free life? They might seem to lead a comfortable life (as many wealthy people do) but it's not always a fulfilling life. And even beautiful, successful celebrities have emotional breakdowns, get cheated on, struggle with addictions, get arrested, and lose their fortunes. Make friends with someone who you think has it all--sincerely take an interest in their lives--and you'll eventually discover that they have their hidden struggles. And if you do find someone who really does seem to have it all together, don't feel threatened by them. Learn from them. Be happy for them.
Trust. If you get jealous easily, you've probably had your trust broken. Most of the time, the trust was broken in the past, and you inadvertently project your fear of being hurt again onto someone else. The question you need to ask yourself is whether this person (the person who you worry will hurt you) has ever done anything to break your trust in the past. If the answer is no, then it's important to give them credit for that, and not treat him or her like a criminal. If the person has broken your trust in the past, then it's time to forgive, or else jealousy will ruin the relationship.
Be positive. Ultimately, jealousy is a fear-based behavior. You're spending a lot of time worrying about something bad that hasn't happened yet, and might not happen at all. In doing so, you're increasing the likelihood of bad things happening by fostering suspicion and distrust. Try to focus on the positive, instead. Be thankful for what you have. And remember that if someone is going to hurt you, there's nothing you can do to stop it anyway. No amount of nagging, monitoring, accusation, snooping, or guarding will prevent you from being hurt. If you believe in someone, believe in them completely; give them all your trust. The benefit of the doubt is essential for any relationship to work.
:) stop worrying.xx
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