A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice, Big Time! I just got into a relationship a few days ago. I met this guy thru an online dating site. He told me time and time again, I forget sometimes that I have that profile until I get mail from them. I thought 'Yeah right, I'm 27 not a dummy' Anyways, he's been logging on every day since. I haven't said anything. The thing is...I don't want to delete my own profile, but I also don't want him to play me like a fool! What do I do? We do talk and text everyday. Plus, he picks up his cell everytime I call. We see each other on weekends and go out in public. So, that's not the problem. But why do I still get that bad feeling? What are the signs to look out for? Oh, by the way since he's been on..I logged on myself. Maybe for him to notice and say something to me or just to see that he's not playing me!
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female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (27 January 2009):
 Well personally from what you have now said I think this guy is definitely not someone who is trying to hide anything from you, he has shown you where he lives, you have seen his phone, OK so he logs on when he is not with you, some could see that as a crime and others could say he is keeping his options open in just the same way that you do when you log on.
If you enjoy his company then what is the crime, don't try and read too much into it at this stage, if your alarm bells start ringing in your head because he is being secretive or missing dates etc or getting constant calls or texts, that is when I would question what is going on. He is just logging and so are you, do you wish he wasn't, have you asked him why he still does? Has he asked you the same question?
Everything is new right now and you are feeling your way at the moment so who knows, it could go really well or it could bomb for some reason and if it did then he wouldn't have to submit his details again in just the same way that you wouldn't have to either, you are keeping your profiles open for the moment as your safety nets.
Keep us posted OK.
BFN
Country Woman
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWeird thing is he forgot his ID the other night and we had to drive back to his home to pick it up. I stayed in the car and waited. The following night I picked him up to go out for a show. So, I know where he lives. And they asked that we silent our phones. He did and before putting it in his pocket, he says "Here, do you want to look at my phone?" I didn't want to but he handed it to me. So, I just scrolled thru the menu. And gave it right back to him followed by a kiss. Signs? Maybe, I'm wrong?And we don't chat online any more. But he's still logging on.
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A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (27 January 2009):
There are no hard and fast rules when it comes to online dating, it can sometimes work out for people and other times you get to meet great friend's and they remain just that.
I think if you have already met up then that is great, initially I would be wary about being on your own with him. Get to know him really well first. I mean there are no guarantees with anyone even meeting them in the normal way, i.e. not through a dating site.
Do you have his home address or phone number at all? Do you have an email address for him?
I think if he is cagey about his home details after you have known him for a while then be very cautious. I think if someone trusts you then you gradually get involved in their lives i.e. meeting family etc but if he will not give you a home number or address after a period of time then be aware that he may already be involved in a relationship or he is trying to hide something, I would also be cautious about giving out your own details until he does the same.
I think the only true way to find out about someone is to really get to know them well in the first instance and just see where it goes.
If the relationship only remains as an internet relationship then they are definitely trying to hide something, however saying that I have had a very good friend now for over 4 years and it is only a case of misfortune that we have never met up but I have his address, phone numbers etc and he has mine and he sends me birthday cards and christmas cards and he really is a good friend. I will get round hopefully this year to actually meeting up with him though.
It really does depend on if he says he is on the site to talk to you or if he spends a lot of time talking to others then be aware that he may still do that until something happens further with yourself. However, two can play at that game so keep your options open and if he asks if you talk to anyone else then fire the question to him as well.
Depends on if he gets texts and calls when he is out or if he keeps his phone switched off, if that is the case then he could be hiding something, however if he is open and doesn't constantly get texts and calls when he is out with you and wants you to meet his family then I think things are moving in the right direction and not the wrong after all.
Keep us posted eh!
BFN
Country Woman
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009): Women have a very strong intuition, if you feel something, trust your feelings.
I am a man and I trust on mine, because I know from the past that my feelings were always correct.
Could you trust your feelings in the past??
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