A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Since I was a little girl i've been very motherly, I take care of everbody and I developed my period among other things quite early (10 ish) My dilemma is that lately I have been wanting to get pregnant. I'm aware this isn't normal considering i'm 17, but it seems to be a need that comes from within me. I just don't understand. It doesn't seem to just be a phase either, I have felt this way for a while now, it's not like i'm unaware of how hard it would be and etc. I have been eduacated very well by my mom and school on protection and the complications of teenage pregnancy, but i'm not scared of any of these factors. I'm wondering if I was born this way and the need to be a mother will only grow with age?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2008): Hi sweetie. I know what you mean. I wanted to be a mother and at the age of 16 I met a guy I thought loved me and I got pregnant. I kept it. My life is not ruined but a large part of me wish I would have waited til I was married. Finish school, maybe college, find a GREAT guy who will take care of you. Your life will change completely if you have a child now. I am married with 2 kids and only 21 years old. I love my children but I can't get a job on the count of child care expenses and no transportation since my husband works during the week. I wish I could have had a good job to help support my family. I know how you feel, but trust me you will be a better mother if you just wait a little while longer. Having a child is a blessing, but wouldn't you want to give your child what he/she deserves? Not to metion when you live at home your parents are burdened with so many expenses from paying for you and your child. Hope this helps. Good luck, and no one can decide for you.
A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (18 October 2008):
 I knew from a very early age that I wanted to be a mother - probably about 10 and this urge has never left me.
I am the youngest of 2 girls and so I was mothered to a degree by my older sister and still am to this day I guess, even though I act differently to my older sister and I tend to end up mothering her really. I am 43 and she is 46 with 3 children of her own compared to my one gorgeous 7 year old daughter.
I wanted to have more children but at the age of 15 I had ovarian cysts on one ovary and lost that ovary and fallopian tube. 8 years later the same thing happened to the other ovary and they cut out a cyst the size of an egg and punctured loads of little ones.
Everyone thought I would not have children and after 15 years with my now ex we came to the decision to try for a child as my father had just had surgery for bowel cancer so it spurred us on so to speak. 6 weeks later I was pregnant and I sailed through the pregnancy but got severe postnatal depression after she was born.
I always wanted more children but my desire did not come to fruition as my relationship ended and I wonder now if I will ever be able to have any more but I am getting older now and my days are numbered for having more children.
You have this image in your mind about being a mother like I did but at the end of the day the reality of it is so different and you need to be at a place where you are mature enough to handle it.
My daughter was very much planned and I was 35 when I fell pregnant but I don't care what anyone says it is still such a culture shock to realise you are responsible for this little life who is so dependent on you that it is a very scary place to be but wonderful at the same time.
Don't waste your young life right now wishing for a child as the other aunts and uncles have made very valid points, especially Uncle Phil about finding the right father for your child.
Why not consider working with children by becoming a nursery nurse or something as I think if you love children that much get some practical experience and then see how you feel about having a child of your own.
You may be a natural in a nursery or kindergarden environment. You could get qualifications and this in turn will only help with the practical side of being a mum in the long term.
Get some full hands on experience first and spend time with someone else's child, maybe get yourself registered as a baby sitter and see how that feels to.
No one can explain it to you unless you have the screaming baby at 2am in the morning and you are sleep deprived and praying for answers. Your body is in turmoil from hormones and you just want some extra help but that isn't always possible.
Right now at your age you could end up as a single young mum with very little support so just think long and hard before becoming a full time mum as it will change your life forever, believe me.
Just try to make this decision when you have a settled home life and a man who is going to be by your side no matter what, both emotionally and financially as a child costs a fortune to bring up - honest.
BFN
Country Woman
x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2008): Funny thing is that I have been an adult as long as I can remember, I went through some tough things when I was young that made me grow up fast. I've been told often I have them mindset of a 30 year old. You may be right about the taking care of myself part. There's lots of things I haven't faced. I'm happy though and in a loving relationship, i've got everything going for me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2008): Some girls have one aim in life, and that is to be a mother. Some would be happy with one child, others might want a brood of half a dozen or so. Some women enjoy having babies - my daughter is one of them It gets very expensive when it comes to grandma and grandad buying birthday and Christmas presents!
It's nature's way of ensuring the survival of the species. When you're older you'll no doubt want to be a grandmother just as bad as you want to be a mother now.
There will be many hundreds of boys willing to go through the motions of what causes pregnancy with you - but only a few will want to be a father, so choose very carefully!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2008): Thanks :) yeah that's the problem I think. I've been a grown up as long as I can remember. I went through a lot of things when I was young and i've been told I have the mindset of a 30 year old.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (18 October 2008):
 Perhaps you are not satisfied with your life as it is now. Do you think that having a baby is going to improve your happiness? Make things better, fill a void you might feeling?
Perhaps you think it is going to make you an adult, no longer a child, but an adult. A mature woman. Somebody that no longer will be treated as a little kid by everyone.
Ask yourself why you want a child. Why you are not content to wait till later. Perhaps by taking care of everyone else and a future baby, you avoid having to take of yourself?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2008): Some women just have very strong maternal instincts. They have always wanted to have children, ect. There's nothing wrong with that, its great except that you are only 17. Babies/children are wonderful honey, but it isn't all fun and games. To have a child at your age would be so very hard on you. I had my first child when I was only 21 and it was not easy for me or my husband. Please dear...you're still very young, and you have plenty of time to have a baby. Live life a little before bringing another life into the world. If you love children so much why don't you babysit, or get a part time job at a daycare if possible? That would help fulfill the need that you have, and meantime you can still be a young girl without the complications of having a child so young.
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