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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Why do I feel so ugly all the time? It's not like I'm disfigured or anything, I'm normal, but nothing special. My friends have always been prettier than me though, got all the attention, etc.Sometimes I feel OK, but the minute I'll watch TV and see a prettier girl then I feel miserable. I know TV women are fake, but sometimes this happens too when I see real life girls, like my friends who look pretty even without make up, so effortlessly, or girls who're even prettier or have better bodies than my friends.I hate this, I know looks aren't everything, but sometimes I just wish I was beautiful. Like in that movie "Liar, liar" when tehy say that beauty is on the inside, but that's just something ugly people say and I think maybe it's true, just look how important being attractive is... pretty people always get more promotions, more attention, etc. No matter how kind or well qualified someone is... prettier people always get the best stuff.I always feel self conscious, even when I'm out with my boyfriend, because there are millions of beautiful girls around and I'm just nothing special, so he probably checks them out too.What can I do? I always feel so miserable when I see prettier girls.x
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female
reader, Happycat123  +, writes (12 August 2012):
I think as long as you go through life being happy, even if that isn't always possible it rubs off on other people so that outside beauty doesn't matter. Smile, and others will sense your vibrance. If you believe you are ugly then it won't help matters- I know its difficult for someone else to comment on your situation, but just try to smile and hold your head high- it will make a difference, and your inner beauty will shine through. :)
A
female
reader, Luvluvluvluuuuvvvv  +, writes (2 August 2011):
Ur not the only girl feeling this way in a matter if fact i used to feel tht way too but then i found out tht no matter how ugly you think u r its not true there is no "ugly" and dont compare urself to other ppl youll be miserable i no i was.mabe ur friends had to work alot being naturally pretty.just when u look in the mirror admire the things tht u like about urself not the things tht u dislike bout urself amd trust me in ur life ur gonna get ppl who call u ugly but there is gonna be more ppl who call u beautiful then ugly trust me!!!!
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female
reader, roperrl1 +, writes (9 December 2010):
hey,i totally know exactly how u feel. exept, my best friend is short and petite. and no affense to her, but she is really ugly. but ALL the boys like her. not really any of them like me. i have figured out that the reason they all love her is because she THINKS she is the prettiest girl in the world. she also is very confident and doesnt let anything get in her way. i bet if u think ur the prettiest girl in the world. pretend that there is NO ONE prettier or any better than you. see what happens. i know it sonds like im telling u to be a snot, but its good to be confident and exept who u r. i meen, what else do u expect? to be magicaly tranformed into a model over night?... ya, thats what i thought! so i think u should try being confident for a few days. i bet it will help u. hope i helped! good luck
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female
reader, ugly and tattooed +, writes (15 September 2010):
I know exactly how you feel! I always feel ugly and fat and utterly repulsive really. Some days i seem to feel better but thats only because i suppress the feelings.
everyone feels like it sometimes though just some more than others. even the people that u and i will see as gorgeous will never be 100% happy everyone has atleast one thing that they hate about themselves.
Just focus on what u do have, family, friends, food in ya belly, roof over your head, a good education/career. beauty is in the eye of the beholder! i know its hard to consider that when you feel like we do but have a try.
take care x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009): i know that maybe you wouldn't care to hear from a regular twelve year old but i saw this question on google and decided to step in. im not gonna come in and say "everybody's different" or "learn to accept yourself" because personally I think there's a way to answer this question in a more direct manner.i am very selective when it comes to friends. i only have about 5 or 6 really close friends from school.I have one friend however that gets all the attention from boys.(although one likes me and asked me, i dont want to get into that whole bf gf thing cause i dont like it)anyway she gets attention because of her looks and because she's amazing at math....but when it comes down to attitude she's a real pain and most adults and teachers find her annoying and rude.i waste my time thinking of who i could be instead of wondering about who i WILL be.i have multiple birthmarks,wear glasses and usually cant manage a good hair day.but im smart,go to a great school,have a good family,and even though im different from most girly girls...am actually liked by many boys.(although it doesn't matter to me) but do you know what it took for me to get those boys....nothing.Maybe it's not what you want to hear but if you have confidence in yourself and place yourself in a different environment and show no worry at all because your yourself......everything will fall into the place it was meant to.do you think that He made you and put you into this world if he didn't have a place for you? Do you think that He has done you wrong by not pleasing you in every way? You have not yet discovered your place.Why then,do you waste your time admiring those that consider themselves average and ugly even if others admire them? You are only putting yourself down and as hard as it may be to believe..your parents may be getting the short end of the stick.They,after all,are the ones who's looks you have most likely gained. Dont freak..im not here to lecture you..im simply here to tell you to buck up and put yourself in a better place then you are now by simply believing in yourself and growing up past the teenage "envy,depressed" stage. -you are loved-
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2009): I know EXACTLY how you feel! You aren't alone in this! For me it's really bad because my sister is really beautiful! I have had people actually say to me "Your her sister? She's so pretty! You guys don't look anything alike...." and "So your the smart one right?". People are really cruel but beauty can only get you so far in life. Ask your boyfriend to give you his HONEST opinion on the subject. Trust what he tells you is how he really feels. If he IS always looking at other women, then maybe it's time for a break. I know it's really hard, but it's important to try and not focus on how other people look or compare yourself to them. You have much better things to do with your time on this earth! Keep smiling!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2009): i understand where she's coming from...i have friends who are some of the most beautiful girls i know...in fact my sister is soooo i feel the pain of never being told im pretty and having my friends get
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2009): people wall ways say im pretty and that they wish they where me and talk about all the boys that like me and stuff but i feel soo ugly and i hate my body its not that im small chested im really big for my age but i still feel ugly in and out side my body, maybe its the birth mark on my belly (do you have a birth mark maybe thats it) or maybe you dont like you hair color,cut or it could be that you like somone and your cared that hes not intersed it you and you think your not pretty
P.S im 13 yr old so i if spelled somthing wrong its not my falt im bad at school
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2009): Do not worry about it.
We all look the same when we are dead.
How people will REMEMBER you is the answer.
Do something great, that way you wont be remembered for your looks.
And I bet you look a lot better than you give yourself credit for. Lots of girls do that.
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female
reader, xmimibabyy +, writes (10 July 2009):
ii feel the same way.. but if you have a boyrfriend..he will make you feel more pritty than the world..but if not make yourself feel unique in your own way.. dont think about other prittier than you..heres a little mean thing to do but it helps...when you see someone that is prittier than you say to yourself that in a couple years they will get ugly and you will get more beautiful..iit works for me try iit ouut ;]]]]]]]]
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2009): what is beautiful? who says its the women on t.v.? who sets the standard?
well i say to hell with rules of who is and who is not beautiful.
no matter how we all look, we will always be unique underneath.
i asked my boyfriend tonight who he considered beautiful, (although he did say me first lol good lad!!!) he went on to say that he found ginger spice beautiful. now i have never considered her a conventional beauty personally and i was expecting him to say a super model or film star, he then added that he found her beautiful because she was different, and he likes the way her cheeks bulge when she smiles.
and i have to agree, its the something special that makes you beautiful, maybe its the little upturned nose, or the way your eye has that slight squint, or even the way you get dimples in your cheeks when you smile.
beauty (on the outside) really is in the eye of the beholder
i personally like men who are a little overweight, to me they are beautiful, to others slender men are the way to go.
you are beautiful, just like each one of us, and im sure its because you have the personality to match that your boyfriend chose you.
stop worrying how you look and comparing yourself to others, its not worth the effort you know. really it isn't.
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male
reader, Hermetica +, writes (9 July 2009):
oh girl where do I start.There is no such thing as ugly.Believe me I am talking from experience.Your body is merely a shell.Some of the most beautiful people I know exude an aura that attracts.I assume you are reasonably young,my years of experience have shown me real beauty in both men and women.Your beauty is through your eyes,people will see it.Most important,love yourself,do this and it is expressed through your eyes.Become a good listener.It's easy to talk.Most people ramble on about nothing,usually themselves.Just listen,talk when you have something constructive to say.After a while your friends will subconciously be aware of your wisdom.Wisdom is sexy and will make your even more appealing.In the process you will understand how beautiful you are.Once you understand this you will realise just how unimportant your current concerns are.Go with joy beautiful lady,Hermetica
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female
reader, Allii +, writes (9 July 2009):
 Hey I have a friend thats in the exact same position as you. He came for my advice. I advised him to see his doctor for a professional opinion. He was diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorders. He now takes light medication to control it, and now he has double the confidence. Please, please dont pay too much attention to films however. All actors are made to look fabulous but that doesnt mean you arent. Im sure youve heard it before, but everyone is different. You have to come to terms with how you look as a person because thats who you are, there are many, many people out there that will go weak at the knees at the sight of you, you just have to be patient! Your as beautiful as you make yourself, as you tell yourself, as you see yourselfIts all down to youConfidence is the key, if you cannot find any in yourself, seek professional advice. It will really help youAlli :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2009): No offence Roger, but men aren't judged HALF as much as women on looks. Sure, you have other kinds of pressure put on you by society - but not beauty, which is 90% genetic and you can't do anything to change. I understand how experience can change people, but trust me, men your age and older, more experienced guys keep checking out young women, even teenagers, while their partners age and get wrinkles. How to compete with that? It's hard, I know I sound young and immature, but I'm not that young, I'm 20, and I feel like I shouldn't be feeling this way.
I just crave being told I'm beautiful, because I've never heard those words, only "Oh, you're so smart" which I know is important, but women LOVE feeling beautiful and adored. Men like to look and they like having beautiful women, and while it's pathetic of me to care about men so much, I want to feel like my boyfriend has a beautiful woman, but when he looks at porn or when we're around prettier girls I just can't.
Especially since he can check out all the girls he wants and that's ok apparently, because he loves me, yet I have no men check me out, so it's unfair. Where do I get my kicks from? I don't check out other men, I want to be checked out, if he can check other girls out or watch porn, I wanna be reassured by other men too that I'm beautiful, I know it sounds crazy, but hey it's just looking, right? If he can admire and JUST LOOK at other girls, then surely I have the right to get my kicks from other men JUST LOOKING at me, right?
-OP
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A
male
reader, Rogerramjet  +, writes (9 July 2009):
Eh, you're at an age right now where physical beauty still takes precedence over emotional beauty...
Give it a couple more years, and you'll start to find that more and more people recognize the brand of your beauty, and really start to appreciate it.
I'm also "nothing special", but the further along I get in life (i'm 30 now), the more and more people (men AND women) i encounter who find me attractive.
Experience in life seems to open up people's eyes.
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female
reader, natasia +, writes (9 July 2009):
 I think you are feeling what most people feel quite often, if not all the time, when they are young. Even if they are pretty. Girls often feel very very very self-conscious. I spent a lot of my teenage years worrying that I was totally unattractive, and now when I look back at photos of myself, I think 'you idiot!!'
And it really is true that beauty is something that can be generated, if you are happy.
All I can say is, don't worry, and remember that although it might not seem like it now, at some point you will look back and realise that you weren't seeing things quite as they really are. Look, you have a boyfriend, who presumably you think is attractive - and he is with you because he thinks the same. He has chosen to show the world that you are his - which is a big thing for a guy, and means he really likes you. So you can't be that bad!! ; ) ... and certainly you aren't. When you see pretty girls and feel bad, look at their separate features and think about how they are just human beings, like you - nothing more or less special. x
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