A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just turned 21 and all of a sudden I feel I am geting too old. I want to start having kids, I have been watching amazing deliveries on tv. Most of my cousins already have kids and they are arund my age. I only have 2 years of college left and I was wondering is there something wrong with me because I want to start having my family?
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male
reader, daletom +, writes (2 August 2008):
I wouldn't say there's anything "wrong" with you for wanting kids, but I think you need to do a little critical thinking about why you want to have kids, and your responsibility to those kids.
Kids aren't some kind of competition where you try to have better kids than the neighbors, like you might try to make a bigger salary than they do. Kids aren't some kind of fashion accessory you get so that people will look at your pictures and gush over what a beautiful family you have.
Kids - especially until they become teens - are a full-time, 24-hour obligation. They are emotionally taxing, and intellectually challenging. They are also a financial burden.
Most importantly, they are unique and valuable human beings. They deserve to have BOTH a mother AND a father who can meet the emotional, intellectual and financial obligations.
Having kids is a statement of faith, trust and commitment just like getting married. You will never be in a "just right" time to have kids any more than you will be in a "just right" time to get married - but based on what I see in your post, you have every reason to expect that there will be better times to have kids than now.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (1 August 2008):
I turned 25 this year. I cried.
Having a family young is fine - as long as you are in a good place to do it and have a good job and a good man to help.
Finish college, be amazing, get a fabulous job and then when you meet your guy you can get married and have a family asap.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, Bill23 +, writes (1 August 2008):
Your a young adult thats what you are, be young and have fun
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A
female
reader, gretchen  +, writes (1 August 2008):
 I totally know how you feel about getting old, I'll be 21 in a few months and you feel like "whoa, my teenage-ism is gone, and pretty soon I'll be one of those older 20-somethings who hangs around with the young 20-somethings".
There's nothing wrong with you wanting a family, there's something wrong when you go ALL OUT trying to make that family. I would wait until your college days are over before taking that step. You can go on imagining having a family, or even better you could offer to babysit your cousin's children, I bet they would be overjoyed to let you take them for a night.
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