A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,Slightly unusual question, but how can I get mum to stop telling me to get a girlfriend?I'm 21 and never had a "serious" girlfriend yet, but this really doesn't bother me. I just simply haven't met a girl that I really like and trust yet. That's the right thing to do isn't it?My mum frequently mentions about how my friends have girlfriends, and how I'm effectively a "loner", it's almost like she is desperate for me to get a girlfriend.I have an active social life so I'm not a loner.I know it sounds trivial, but it is really starting to get on my nerves and cause *big* arguments as she mentions it so much. Any advice? Advice from the mums amongst you would be particularly appreciated so I could maybe see things from her point of view....and how I can get her to calm down with the all too frequent mentions.Thanks for looking
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female
reader, marmajuke +, writes (2 August 2008):
 My mum says exactly the same thing!! although im a girl and 18 but she always says "why havn't you got a boyfriend blah blahh blahhh"so i just tell her i will get one in my own time when i am ready and i meet a nice guy which shouldn't be too long as i occasionally socialize with new people....
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (1 August 2008):
 Hahaha! I love the dressing up a friend as a really unsuitable girlfriend idea. That's great.
My mother too, sometimes harps on things and really bugs me. I've taken to simply ignoring her when she is like that. I'll tell that the comments are getting on my nerves, that they are not helpful, that they are making me want to distance myself from her. Then, when she brings it up again, I change the subject, just go on as if I didn't hear her. This comes from training my dog, where you reward the behaviors you desire and ignore the ones you do not. Of course, she will persist occasionally, and then I very calmly and firmly tell her that I do not wish to discuss it at this time. It's just a matter of steeling yourself to completely disregard the nagging words. Don't react, don't let them bother you, just carry on as if she hadn't brought it up.
One more evil thought. Instead of bringing home a tarted up girl, bring home a tarted up boy. That'll shock her! Sorry, couldn't resist.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (1 August 2008):
I think the anonymous person had a good idea....
Get a girl who's a mate and get her to dress really sluttily and draw on some tattoos and put on HORRIBLE make up. Then take her round to meet your mum.
Get the friend to tell your mum how you met because she'd taken too many drugs and was in a gutter and you carried her home and it was so romantic. And how good you were when you found out that she'd given you an STI but it's all cleared up now so that's fine. She can then say to you "ooh, did I take my pill today? I missed it 3 times last week, nah, I'm sure it will be fine, besides, we'd have the cutest babies."
That might do the trick.
Seriously though your mum is being a bit crazy. It could be that she wants grandchildren at some point before she gets too old. Me and the husband are getting hints dropped on us about that at the moment. Not fun.
Every time your mum brings it up just walk away. Even better just move out and don't speak to her very often, then you won't have to hear it.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008): Tell her that fine, you'll get a girlfriend: and you'll make sure she's the most promiscuous, druggiest, clingy-est, controlling-est, degrading-est girl you can find, so your mother will finally be happy her son has a girlfriend. LOL
I'm pretty sure she just wants you to be happy but she doesn't understand that you already are. To get her to stop nagging you, just tell her you're happy right where you are now, without a girlfriend, and when 'she' comes along you'll be happier but you're not going to pick up a random that you'll feel guilty/unhappy about later.
I really respect the fact that you're not out picking up chicks like milk at the grocery store! Keep at that and the right girl will definitely look your way! ;)
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