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Why do I feel bad for telling them off when they deserved it?

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Question - (6 January 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 6 January 2009)
A male United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I have had someone in my life who has made me feel awful about myself, pointless and very lonely. At every opportunity i have offered my friendship they have ignored me or made short excuses in order not to see me or speak to me. We have been out of contact for a while when i had taken as much as i could and told them just how bad their actions were and how much it hurt. They made out that they had become the injured party and cut me out completely.

I received a message from them recently telling me they wanted to be friends. I am a very forgiving person and deep down felt a great deal for this person so replied saying of course and we should meet up. Once again they ignored me until i got another short message out of the blue saying they couldn't with a really poor excuse again and basically finished off by saying get lost. I sent them a message back saying that enough was enough and i no longer wanted any form of friendship with them. I did this as a way of closure as i knew they would never get back in touch again. My point is this though.. why when someone can make you feel so bad about yourself and you eventually tell them to go and stick it do i feel so bad?

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A male reader, yum yum Switzerland +, writes (6 January 2009):

yum yum agony auntI think you might be a very nice person and the fact that you have been hurt, makes you feel bad to hurt others because you have been hurt and don't want others to get hurt, you just wanted your message to get across. However you should not feel bad for giving a piece of your mind to them. Take care!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009):

Because you are a forgiving person who trys to see the best in people and give people second chances. However, you can only give someone so many chances, and you were right to disconnect yourself from this person. Feeling bad about it is just an unfortunate consequence of your kind and considerate nature, but you have nothing to feel bad about.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009):

I get you, you feel guilty because you worry more about pleasing other people than yourself probably. It's their loss, so don't stress over it, have some you time and hang out with people that make you feel good =]

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