A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have this issue. I cannot "cum" or have an orgasm during sex. We usually spend a while on forplay n stuff before actual sex but then i have to rub my clit during, or i won't cum no matter how good it feels. It makes me feel like there is something wrong with me. And it makes my fiance feel like there is something wrong with him... I don't want to have to stimulate my clit Every single time we have sex. It feels less romantic. You know? :( I've tried to be patient, can anyone help? Or give some advice? this has been bothering me for a long time now...
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female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (4 December 2009):
 While both are normal, clitoral stimulation is much more common.
I think almost every woman who attempts to orgasm through stimulating the clit can orgasm. However an orgasm through penetration is rare. I think I read that twelve to twenty percent of women can orgasm just through sex alone. I mean that's only one in five women at the best of times. You can keep trying, just don't get frustrated and you and your partner shouldn't feel bad if it doesn't happen. Because of the fact that it's kind of rare and varies from woman to woman.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo it is normal to have to stimulate the clitorous in order to "cum"? I thought that it was normal to 'cum' during penatration?
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A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (23 November 2009):
I have never been able to orgasm through just sex. Not in the way that you are talking about. There is the g-spot that can be stimulated inside the vagina, but that's something entirely different and really difficult to find. The type of orgasm you are talking about is through clitoral stimulation.
There is nothing wrong with not being able to orgasm through rubbing the clit. In fact this is how most women manage to climax when messing around with their partner. You nor your boyfriend should never feel bad about this fact, because that's just the way the body is! Have him reach down there and attempt to make you orgasm. I guarantee it'll make you both feel a lot better about the situation. He will be able to get you off and you'll feel like you are more involved in the sex. And there is nothing less romantic about you doing it yourself when he's having sex with you. In fact my boyfriend thinks it's really hot to watch while we have sex. Don't ever think that this way is less romantic, because it gets the job done, and it's enjoyable for both parties!
So know what you're going through is completely normal. :) Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2009): pretty sure that this is common?
my girl rarely orgasms with only vaginal intercourse. the only way she orgasms is if she stimulates herself. also i just learned to stimulate her myself with my fingers during intercourse and he she says its way better than when she does it.
also recommend looking into a clitoris piercing for faster stimulation. it worked for her.
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