A
female
age
41-50,
*pumie
writes:Hi all. Yesterday me an my boyfriend we had a fight. My problem with him is that when he want something I have to be the one who has to compromise for everything. Yesterday he was off duty at work. He was at his place. I don't know what he was doing the whole day but when I came to visit he was all that tired. He couldn't make love to me. But this morning he wanted to make love as I was suppose to wake up and go to work. We had a fight and he says I'm competing with him. I just don't know what to say or do. I'm so tired of being the one who has to compromise for what he want not of what we want.
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (6 July 2012):
 'has to'? You don't have to. You choose to.The difference between your boyfriend and you is he will sacrifice peace for the sake of what he wants and you will sacrifice what you want for the sake of peace. As long as you value peace at all costs you will continue to pay a high price for it.What would happen if you just said 'not today' or 'not right now'? Don't tell me. I mean ask yourself. What is the worst that will happen? He'll be angry. He'll sulk, pout and maybe not speak to you for a few days. Is that really so bad? Why not try it and ride out the storm? He won't sulk forever. And there wouldn't be a fight if you ignored him and cheerfully went about your business.
A
female
reader, mpumie +, writes (5 July 2012):
mpumie is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you ladies for the feedback.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 July 2012):
 is it just about sex? because for us it's a timing issue
I prefer mornings he prefers night... that sounds like your problem too.
or are there other issues you are compromising on?
if you feel he's never compromising ask him what he feels he's compromised on... you may be surprised.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (5 July 2012):
Sorry, but all I got from that "question" was a tirade of complaints. So when he's tired, he's the worst, but when you're tired, he should know better to even ask. I see.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (5 July 2012):
 Have a serious talk with him and come up with some kind of arrangement where you are not interrupting sleep or preparation for work to have sex or do other things. It sounds like you both want to have sex...that's great! Now you just need to come up with times that work for both of you. If you don't like to do it before work, just tell him that. Ask him what was wrong the other day when you wanted it on his day off. Sometimes it does feel like one person is compromising more than the other, but maybe he will compromise with you on this one. He probably thought that by wanting to do it the next day right away, then you would want to also. Just talk with him and see what you can come up with.
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