A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. My question is regarding a person's feelings when a relationship ends. I've been in a few of relationships and I've personally been the one to end all of them except for one. I really have never been in a relationship where I was CRAZY about the girl - I was interested in her for a short while and then I got bored, which is why I ended them. While I'm in the relationship, I know that I have to end it because I'm unhappy and even depressed. I believe that when I break up with the girl, I'll be happy again. But that's my problem...each time I end a relationship, I find myself still intensely depressed but for a different reason. I find myself missing the girl a lot too, but I still know that I wasn't happy during the relationship. I also start to get really clingy to the girl and I check her facebook a lot just because I want to see her pictures, I want to see her relationship status, etc. I find myself even more attracted to her when I DON'T have her. My mom tells me that it's human nature to want what we can't have...I guess that might be it. But why is it that I'm so sure that I don't want a relationship, then when I finally do it, I regret so much? I just get so depressed...I think maybe because of how I've never really been happy in a relationship. I've never had that "spark" that everyone has. And the girls I've had relationships have always fallen hard for me, yet I feel nothing REALLY SPECIAL for them.The reason I'm so upset right now is because I just ended a relationship today. And I can't stress enough that I don't really don't regret ending the relationship, I just regret that I wasn't happy with her and that I have to let her go.Sorry for rambling, thank you
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female
reader, olivia2010!  +, writes (24 February 2010):
 it sounds as though you have a lot of time in your hands to think and send yourself crazy with these thoughts. You are obviously full of fear and not just hurting a lot of girls on the way, but hurting yourself more. Successful relationships can't just be found. They have to be built. If your always so unhappy in the relationship, maybe its not actually the other persons fault, but just that your not ready to be in one at the time or that your just looking at high unachievable standards in a person. Your still very young and believe me, you will get a lot more girls on the way and so much time to learn. Many people think that 'grass is always greener on the other side'. It never is! It sounds as though your quiet unsatisfied and unhappy. You need to work on that first as you will never find happiness in another person. Only you can make yourself happy. Not anything else and certainly not jumping into another relationship for the sake of it.I'm working n a harsh break up myself.
All the best
A
female
reader, Cupcake  +, writes (22 February 2010):
 I am the exact same way, and would like to see the responses you get because if I wrote the question it would probably be word for word but from my female perspective. I broke up with my boyfriend 3days ago, I know it was the right thing to do... but yet I miss him and slightly depressed about it.. even though I dont want him in my life.. Frustrating.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2010): You are denying yourself a chance of happiness as you are afraid to commit to the next level
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