A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi all,I have a very simple question. Why do so many guys find girls who are promiscuous or 'slutty' more sexually desirable than a girl that is romantic and caring?For some reason, so many guys I know prefer to hang out with the girls that have no real standards, that would jump into bed for fun with random guys on a night out drinking. I feel like all my life I've watched guys I've had feelings look over my head for one of these kinds of girls. I always thought I was a good catch because I have always maintained high standards for myself. But I also know how to have fun as well, but I would not sleep with anybody that I didn't love or deeply care about. That's just me.Your thoughts are welcome. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Darkened  +, writes (16 February 2010):
Due hormones, young males have a tendency to get influenced by sexual attraction, more than the romantic side. The "slutty" girls you talk about, usually act and wear "small" clothes that explore that fact.
As the male ages a bit more, it starts to feel need for something else, and that's the love/romantic side.
I remember years ago some girls in my class saying that they preferred to admire older guys, in their 20's. And they were not even 17. That says a lot. The romantic side in girls shows up much sooner than males.
But notice that not all young males are only searching for sexual relationships. Some of them may equally find the "slutty" girls really sexy, but they think very differently in therms of relationships.
Probably the guys you don't notice(or feel attracted to) are actually the ones that look at you and think your eyes are beautiful, or that they would like to take you out on a special date.
Take a look out at all the others guys, maybe they've been looking at you and wishing for some kind of miracle. Not all of them know to approach girls in a confident way.
I'm not saying you should change your preferences, but keep your eyes open and maybe some of them are actually what you are looking for.
When I was at school I admired mostly the nice girls (not slutty), although I never had a relationship then. Some of them actually tried to get into the "slutty group/category" because their friends were also that way... which was pretty stupid. Most of them had very short relationships or fighting like two cats in a bag... resulting in daily shame, regrets and drama.
Anyway, you are a keeper. If not now, someday you'll find someone nice that is looking for a woman like you.
A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (16 February 2010):
Guys in your age group are looking for sex and they go for the ones most likely to give it up easy. When they start growing up and settling down, they look for the decent women like you seem to be. Then the sluts will hate you wondering why nobody is asking them to marry them. Don't lower your standards; most likely, the same people you know now will be the same 10 years from now. At least you won't have a long rap sheet and be bumping into men who used you up. Be patient dear.
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A
male
reader, childof1981  +, writes (16 February 2010):
 Take a view from without of yourself and think about the signals you are sending guys (consciously or not) and how they might interpret them. Guys don't "always" go for the "slutty" (FYI, I really object to that term) girls, but at the same time they won't chase up a mountain just to see if somebody is interested.
You might be a good catch but if you don't signal guys that are interested they won't know. Also, some guys and girls are not looking for a serious commitment and just want to have fun and there is nothing wrong with that.
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