A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi Guys. My questions is regarding my ex/on-off partner. We've been together for years and split up on-off over the last 18 months. We always stayed in touch and stayed friends and there are still feelings between us and we are still attracted but because he has 'issues' with his temper etc .. it just didn't seem to work out properly again. Anyway all was fine, we saw each other at Xmas, swapped gifts, our kids still keep in touch etc etc .. and we would chat over the phone a couple of times a week and we always hugged each other when we saw each other. Then, all of a sudden, one evening we were texting and I got a text saying 'I'm seeing someone so no further contact please' then when I asked why he texted back 'can't see ex when dating - not right'. I was stunned and when i texted back to say so he sent some nasty texts including 'clear off/pi*s off/f*ck off' etc .. (his temper and abusive side coming out again). We were together for years and years and our children and us all went on holidays together and we were like one big family. Is is that unreasonable for us to stay in touch. It really hurts to not talk to him at all and to have him be so nasty. This is the first date he has got in two years - and it was only his first date with her - could it be he got so excited about having a date at all that he just put all his eggs in one basket. Or does it sound like the woman is telling him to ignore me. My friends just said 'don't ever speak to him again he is horrible' but I find this hard, even though I know he can be nasty. He can also be loveable and sweet and kind etc .. but can be very verbally unpleasant. Has anyone else had this kind of behaviour and what was the reason/how did you handle it. Should I just ignore him for good or leave it a few weeks and speak to him if I bump into him (we belong to the same gym but I haven't been in a while). I am upset and confused and feeling lost because of all this. I would really appreciate any advice. I have spoken to him every day of my life for the past 15 years and now this!!! I even thought we would get back together one day. Oh, also, he sent a nasty text saying 'and don't speak to my son I am am fussy who he talks to'. His son is an adult and stays in touch with us of his own free will and last time HE sent ME a message on Facebook etc ... His son said he does not agree with a lof of the way his dad behaves (my ex and his wife divorced years ago because they argued badly and their son said it was a relief when theys split up - he also said his mother was much calmers after the divorce even though my ex said she was the argumentative one and used to say she was a 'mad bi*ch' etc etc). Anyway all this recent coldness from him to me, It feels awful. Thanks.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Brunel  +, writes (24 March 2010):
You are a young woman still. The longer you hold on the more hurt you cause yourself. My wie that I adore left after 29 years. Like you I have kept in touch like a b---------y puppy always thinking she may come back. Well screw her and him why do we continue this nonsense.
Love and life are not equal, we must be brave and realise that time and tide wait for no-one. Unless we continue to hold on?
It is all over-Cry and cry again it don't change it! Like you I have had all these emotions, it has all been a waste of my life.
Put some slap on get, out there, see the person you are , not she that you were.
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