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Why do guys not show feelings?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 June 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 23 June 2010)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I was wondering why is it that guys do not show feelings. They act cold and like they could care less. Me and my boyfriend recently broke up 2 months ago. We spent a lot of time together and got close. We had a lot of good times together. I know I miss him and don't forget about those times and I wonder how he is every day. Of course I haven't talked to him since we broke up but I wonder if he has those same feelings because to me it doesn't seem like it. Do guys have those same feelings or can one day to the next just be done with it all. Or do they just push the feelings to the side and keep busy with their boys and other girls to not deal with it. His cousin is my friend and he hasn't even asked her about me.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (23 June 2010):

Men haven't ever really been allowed to show feelings. For all the talk that men can show emotion, we really can't. Even when we want to, we always end up looking bad. A friend of mine once cried in front of his girlfriend, and she dumped him claiming he was a wimp. See the problem? Women want men to show emotions, but can't really cope when we do because it comes as a shock. Did you know that 89% of men have cried over a woman? It's true. We feel emotion a hell of a lot more than women realize. We just can't show it because society says we can't. Your boyfriend will have done his crying, most likely some time ago. Now you need to do it as well, and move on.

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A female reader, Legioness United Kingdom +, writes (23 June 2010):

Legioness agony auntAlot of men are actually quite open and sensitive..

At the moment he may just be distracting himself from the fact that you've split up, or he may be over it (well at least over the shock) as he had seen it coming for a while.

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A female reader, xanthic United States +, writes (23 June 2010):

xanthic agony auntUsually, the one doing the dumping has already gotten over the loss because they know what's to come long before the relationship ends, while the one getting dumped is caught off guard and feels as though the change is very sudden. This is why he's less emotional about it than you are, it doesn't matter what their gender is in this case.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (23 June 2010):

person12345 agony auntGuys feel a broken heart the same way a girl does. Guys have lots of feelings too. But it's not acceptable to show them in our society, so they have learned to hide it better. I'm sure he's sad too, he just doesn't show it as much.

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A male reader, alex_thekind United States +, writes (23 June 2010):

From experienced, I opened up my feelings to this girl one time, and she was the only one i have ever done that with. It was extremely hard for me, because at the time i was put in a position where i just had to let her know how i felt. Everything from there on changed, no texting, no calling, for days at a time, she would only call when she needed a favor or something. When we use to run into each other it was just awkward. Take it from me, that's probably the last time i ever express my feeling to a girl. Not only has she been completely inconsiderate, she acts like its all cool and stuff. It has been devastating trying to get her out of my head and move on, i still think about her from time to time.

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A female reader, sunnycomet Canada +, writes (23 June 2010):

sunnycomet agony auntEveryone is human...even guys. So yes they go through what we do.

But it sounds like your boyfriend was already over you at the time of the break-up.

Move on...and enjoy life. He is the past...embrace the future!

GoodLuck!

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