A
female
age
41-50,
*onksDaBomb
writes:It is THE most annoying thing in the world! Let me explain my scenario and see what you all think:This guy and I have known each other for about five years (he was a prof in my college major so I saw him often), we've been good friends for about 3 years now (ever since I graduated) and have been flirting with each other since last summer.He actually started the flirting even when I was a student in his class (calling me names in front of the class, making me blush, smiling at me a lot, quickly patting me on the back walking past). And ALWAYS - for five years now - the first time he sees me he does that quick eyebrow thing.Our flirting has increased a bit since last summer until the big moment when I was home for Christmas - we met for coffee and talked for over two hours. We kept constant eye contact, talked and laughed and once he stopped talking (was leaning forward on the table) and we gazed in each other's eyes for several seconds. He finally broke it, looked down and had an embarrassed-looking smile on his face. Later, when he was taking me home, he said the next time I'm in town (we live several states away and can't see each other) we can just meet at his house (!)Once I got back to my place I'd send him the usual email or leave a phone message, just keeping in touch like always. Totally ignored me for 2 months. I couldn't understand it at all. Then out of the blue he emails me earlier this week, thanking me for keeping in touch and ending it with "I've had a rough term" (not sure if it's school or personal). He asked me if I was going to be home for Easter. I told him no not til the summer. I also asked him if he was okay with the whole rough term thing. I haven't heard back from him since. He's usually pretty good with emails. I don't know what the deal with him is. He seems interested then backs off. It's like he wants a chase or something because he finally responded when I stopped responding (of course the guy is almost 60; guys that age should not be playing these types of games; he's not married).Two questions:1) What do you think I should do? Because it really sounds like he likes me more than a friend because of the heavy flirting around Christmas and it also sounds like he wants to see me at Easter and can't wait for the summer2) Why do guys do this (go hot/interested, then cold/distant)? Is it a flirting technique guys use?Any guy's help would be appreciated. Sorry this is so long.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, kllgunner +, writes (1 March 2009):
 hey well im not trying to make you mad but during holidays he might be cheating he might have a wife that goes to see family during the holidays and then he scoped out younger girls alot of guys are like that so my suggestion find someone your age and then he might be seeing someone off and on so that may be what hes saying by ruff term so i think you should just move on this prbly didnt help so much but its the best i gt sry
-madly in love
A
female
reader, milasoap +, writes (1 March 2009):
I'm dealing with a similar issue, and I can relate. My advice is to give the guy time and space to figure out his own issues, and he will contact you when he has his head figured out. I think he'll contact you when he's ready :).
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2009): One of the true mysteries of life...when you find an answer...let me know!
Give him the space he is requiring. He needs to work out some of his own concerns. Let him do that!
Men are the same at any age...that is not to say that all men are bad...or good. But they all need space, down time my guy calls it! I am happy to give him that time, because when we talk again...he is more loving and tender!
I realize it doesn't always turn out that way. But give him his time and hope it works the way you wish it to!
Good Luck,
Britt
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