A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Here's a background: I met a guy at a dinner(Dan) ,we talked every time we saw each other, which was about 4-5 times since then. I followed my intuition and talked to him--I knew for sure we'd be good friends, but yes, he's attractive too. He flirted with me the first time we talked, and I didn't like it so much, because I just didn't know him, and felt too premature. Then we became on friends terms, but part of me wanted to flirt with him, sure. I finally, got out my comfort zone, and said LETS HANG OUT! He enthuthiastically agreed, took my number, and to my surprise, called quite a bit to try to arrange to hang out. We finally did after 3 weeks, because of busy schedules. We went for cofee on a weeknight. I didn't know if it was a friend or a date thing, and apparently, he didn't either; he opened all the doors for me, (even from my own car, he was there in a heartbeat opening my door), and he insisted on paying for the drink (I know by now not to argue over this..), but those two hours were great, we talked nonstop, laughed, it was a great energy bouncing off each other. It was like friends, minus the few jokes humourously told, when we realized we have different interests, "I don't think you and me will work well..", which alerted me that something's up. The end of the night was a schock, he threw me off by saying he came out of a long term relationship, then confessing he isn't looking for anything, but finds me attractive. After quietness because I didnt know how to respond, Im like "..me too" I didn't send signals I wanted anything, I thought we were enjoying each other quite well as friends, so I was surprised by the honesty, considering we hung out one on one for the first time...It felt like he was not talking to me, but convincing himself, and I don't mind it going down in terms of boyfriend-girlfriend, either way's fine, but what is making me sad is if his attraction towards me will prevent us from being friends too? The night ended on a good note though, on the last thing said that let's do this again. It'll be interesting to see if he calls during this week, I felt like calling, but I think I should give him space, and let him work out his issues, so I didn't. I don't know.BLAH. I do want him in my life though, friend wise will suit me just fine...but it takes two to tango in any way.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt feels as if he doesn't know himself what he wants;
I decided to text him on sunday to send a message that what he told me did not scare me away. He called today, and it seemed he asked me out on a date. (Being picked up, movie, dinner, sounds like a date, no?!) Going by my hunch last time, he'll be insistent on paying.
Im a bit nervous, and again, surprised. But I don't mind it, so I kept quiet as I realized he was asking me out.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2009): Be his friend first! You say you don't want him in your life, but I think you do! I realize you are afraid of being hurt...understandable!
build a solid friendship, and take it from there, see where it goes. If nothing else, you will have a good friend!
Good Luck
Britt
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