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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Why do guys add "hot" girls on Myspace?My bf has a band and he's the admin of their Myspace. He got a friend request from one of these stripper types, you know, those girls that have Myspace pages where they're almos naked, they're hot, etc. They show off all their asses and tits! And a pic of her showcasing her butt.Well, he accepted it. Then i saw her and asked him about it. He deleted it. Then I asked him why he had added her. He said "So? So what if she's hot? So what if I accepted her?" Then he gets angry and turns the tables, and tells me a lot of nonsense about my past (when i didn't even know him) and I left comments on the guy I used to like's blog. But I think it's different.I also know he'd be super angry if I added some "hot" muscular guy on Myspace. Plus, why would I want to add such a guy? I wouldn't talk to him, and I already have a man to lust over, so why add a guy like that to Myspace?Why do guys add those girls on Myspace? I hate that... I hate hot girls, yes, I'll admit it: I hate hot girls because I'm not like that and they make me feel ugly and undesirable! Maybe I'm ugly, that's what guys say, that girls that hate hot girls are ugly... but at least I'm honest...I feel so stupid because of this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008): lol i hate hot girls too:] but who cares if your comfortable with yourself it dosent matter:] if you ask me id say blame it on testosterone:/ plus if it was me i wouldnt take it too personally, its just stupid myspace, even better a band myspace, there even more pointless than regular ones are.
A
female
reader, x..BabyGirl..x  +, writes (19 August 2008):
 It may have been completely honest. She may just like their music and decided to add them. It probably has nothing to do with your boyfriend at all.
I do see where you're coming from though, speak to him and tell him how you feel. He probably didn't even notice her DP, I don't look at people's pics when they add me.
But tell him how you feel and good luck. x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2008): It hurts to see you doing yourself down at the end of the post - honest or otherwise this indicates the problem. Bands are likely to get this kind of thing and you either feel able to cope with all it entails or need to find a relationship that is more emotionally equal and perhaps mature. I feel you need someone nurturing who will bring out the best in you. When you are surrounded by negatives it has a really bad effect on you after a while. Take a step back - can you get some 'myspace' of your own and by that I mean time away from all this negativity? Your energy is spent thinking about this and not how you can improve your own life as an individual - its all about him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2008): um on my space you kinda just add anyone on myspace especialy if your in a band you want as much advertising as possible!
Plus its not like hes sending her any dirty messages or anything.
xxxx
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A
female
reader, PsyCookie  +, writes (17 August 2008):
 Anonymous poster
He might have not known if she was a fan or not, but he might have assumed it since she was adding him through his band's myspace. You can't blame the guy for assuming
And I agree with Jamer70, don't get back at him by adding a hot guy. That's too immature.
I think it's something you have to deal when your boyfriend is in a band. You have to be aware that there will be some incredibly hot fans (either guy or girl) who will want to be flung at your boyfriend. Yes, you can't trust this people because they might want to steal him from you, but then again you have to trust your boyfriend to not fall for them.
It's something that WILL keep on happening. So I think you should try to start dealing with it right now with this incident since it's a small step. Don't let your jealousy and fear ruin the relationship. This will be flung at you often so keep a strong mind and show those girls that he's with you for a reason and that you're not afraid (not jealous) of them. They will see it.
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A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (17 August 2008):
 I agree with whats been said
Firstly its his bands myspace, when your in a band ill assume you would want as many friends as possible to advertise your band, no matter who they are
Secondly its myspace, not like hes gonna secretly flirt with this girl (on his bands myspace), also these "hot" girls are made by robots (they are banned, then remade and invites are spammed out) so everyone gets them.
So perhaps you viewed this wrong, but talking is the right thing to do here, tell him how you feel, but dont let your own insecurities ruin your relationship.
Also adding a hot guy to get back is stupid, playing child games in an adult relationship is dumb and childish
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know, PsyCookie, but teh girl wasn't even a fan... I think she was gathering fans and promoting herlself, adding randmom people. I think he just added her to check her out or who knows... she never left a comment saying how great the songs were or anything...
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A
female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (17 August 2008):
I completely agree with Soekie. But I'll add this
You have to remember that this is Myspace, dear. Fake reality, not real, something not true. And you also have to remember that it was his band's myspace, not his personal, on where he added the "hot" girl. When you're in a band and have a myspace, you will add any person who asks you to be your friend, hot or not.
But hate someone just because the person is hot is not healthy. Yes, you may feel inadequate when you compare yourself with the girl, but the person being hot does NOT determind her character. Although most girls who are described as "hot" are indeed very nasty (Specially the ones that adverstise themselves on myspace), not all of them are.
Now, I do share your hatred (although I don't call it hatred, but dislike) of girls advertising themselves in such a sexual way, NOT because I feel inadequate compared to them but because I find it so disrespectful. They put bad names to women and they are full of conceit and selfishness.
And like Soakie said, he did behave very immature towards you by telling you off like that, but I will say you also acted immature in this situation. Yes, he added the girl, but so he will add 10 other non-hot people in his myspace. She's just another fan, who only happens to look "hot" in a picture. I do think you acted pretty immature about this, but he crossed the line.
Please don't feel inadequate when compared to them. And don't get me wrong, I (along with thousands of women out there) feel inadequate when compared to other women we see as hot. But that doesn't mean you're NOT hot! You must be a very pretty young lady, but how can you feel undesirable? You have a boyfriend!
So please try to pass this up for him. It was his band's myspace, so you have to expect very pretty (and ugly) fans adding him.
Now if it had been his personal myspace, then it's another story.
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A
female
reader, superbunny +, writes (17 August 2008):
 Add some hot guy on MySpace, if he gets angry then tell him that's how you feel... If he doesn't, keep adding. ;]
Seriously though, he should respect your feelings more. Have a little chat... =]
xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2008): When you are in a relationship you are supposed to address issues like this. You felt hurt when he accepted that girl, and he behaved in a very immature way. Sometimes men accept friend requests from hot girls, not because they want to cheat, but out of politeness, or maybe they do feel a bit flattered. The important thing however, is that if you tell him that it bothers you, he should respect you, and reassure you, not defend his actions. That is when you know that he is rubbish!
Oh, and you are not ugly and should not feel threatened by girls like that. In fact, it is amazing what you can do with photoshop in order to make people look better. And it is also possible that that girl has not even used her own pic!
So remember, no one is that pretty in true life. Every one of us has our own unique sexuality and special qualities that sets us apart from other people! Rather focus on those, than to keep comparing yourself with others!
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