A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:why do girls keep running back to the guy they know hurt them most? what the hell is it?? i was once a strong girl who never thought to do that...but once i opened up my heart to someone, they basically threw it back in my face and even though after weeks of our break-up, i still keep in contact with him and run back to him just because i have the thought that "he maybe able to change and want me." Ha even though deep down i know he never will...what is it?? why are women so vulnerable to these sort of things and will level themselves so small to the ground in order to please the man?? what is it? what is it with most women doing and giving everything up for the so called "one".It's like a disease. In the beginning we are strong and know how to flirt and have a good time with the guy, but then after lets say 3 months we want more, and if we dont get more we still stay thinking that he'll open his eyes and when he doesnt we may or may not end it - either way we get hurt and will think we're over him but then still run back thinking there's a possible chance.
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female
reader, lilly0888  +, writes (27 April 2010):
So what if it's the guy that is in this exact situation? I have a friend who keeps going back to a woman that has constantly cheated on him and keeps hurting him. Do you think it's the same for guys as it is women?
A
female
reader, lilly0888 +, writes (27 April 2010):
Wow, you couldn't have said this any better!!! I can completely relate to this question as I was with a guy who I loved, he cheated on me, I took him back, then he hurt me worse the second time. Even though we are not together I still think about him and when I'm going through a tough time like a break up I always want to run back to him. He is a horrible person who is manipulative and constantly cheats. I am a very strong Independent person but yet when I was with him I changed. I felt like I was loosing my mind! What is it that keeps me thinking of him???!!!!
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A
female
reader, Anonymous1985 +, writes (6 November 2008):
babe... i feel you.. by now you must be over it and if ur not then well we're more alike than you can imagine.
i cant believe how EXACTLY the same my situation is to your question!!
okay so this is what i think the answer is; its mainly the chase and the fact that it was a bit of a rejection. the challenge to change them or change their mind attracts us more to them because if it was easy then we'd get bored.
your self esteem has been bruised by this guy because he doesnt want u the way u want him so in order to boost ur self esteem you want, no actually you NEED to be reassured that ur not wasting ur time and that he can and does love you.
you cant force someone to love you or want you, ive learnt this the hard way; it takes a while to move on because ur focusing too much on this and i bet he's not letting you go either (he needs you for a confidence boost and probably doesnt want you to stop wanting him)and by this you're not letting other guys in and it will drag on until you get so hurt wen he gets another girl...but i know one day it will go away, not 100% cos there is love there just not as strong as u might think.
keep ur head up, dont let him know how u feel, u are better than that and you deserve someone who will give to you wat ur willin to give to them. good luck xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2008): classic co-dependence
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A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (21 September 2008):
 i use to be one of those girls. I didn't know any better. I thought it was what you were suppose to do when you love someone. Keep giving, forgiving and trying to make it work
because I loved him.
Now I know my mistake. Sometimes, we fall so deep in love we give all our power away to the men thinking they will cherish and protect it. instead, they abuse and use it. So we try harder thinking they will change, but it's us who needs to change.
Also, i my self esteem took a hit being in such an unhealthy relationship so it's harder to leave because you are not thinking straight.
Now I know better and will not make that mistake again.
I know that I deserve better and will not take that crap from anyone. however, it takes you a long time to get to this place. It's just one of those life lesson we all have to go through to learn to love ourself.
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A
female
reader, lilgirly  +, writes (21 September 2008):
 everyone wants what they can't get..and regret follows everyone.. especialy if the girl was in love with the guy.. she would always think about what might have been...what if i've done this or what if i done that..
well they still have feelings for the guy of the past..some of it is really hard to forget..
well good luck.. eventually everyone gets over it..take careXXX
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (21 September 2008):
 Lots of reasons. Scared of being single, love addiction, numerous varied reasons.
Its a case of being stubborn and knowing you will move on eventually.
It helps if you have had good relationships in the past, because you know you can and have done better.
C xxxx
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