A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met a really cute guy online a month ago. He lives far away but has family here so he comes up about twice a month. He asked for my number and we were texting back and fourth while he was here. He said that he wasn't looking for anything serious because he just broke up with his girlfriend. I said that was fine with me because I was looking for that too and we finally met up and he said that I was gorgeous. He said he would be back in a couple of weeks and we would get together. He then texted and asked if I wanted to do nudes and I said that I'd rather see him naked in person to which he replied "great" Well it's been two weeks now and I know he's been in town but didn't reach out. Also, I noticed that he unmatched me on the dating site and I don't understand why. I usually unmatch someone if I don't like them or after we hook up. Why didn't he reach out to me? I want to ask him but don't wanna seem desperate
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2018): No nudes! There are collectors out there! They also share!
They'll use your image for naughty-boy reasons; with no intention of ever meeting you in-person!
He may have patched things up with his ex. Often guys go online immediately after a break-up. Heading-off post-breakup trauma. Other times it's only to hear from a friendly-lady during serious relationship-issues, or after a huge fight. You know, the "let's take a break" period? That is because he may be anticipating a breakup in the near future.
And yes, a guy will go looking for her replacement; while she's giving him the devil, and thinking her tongue-lashing is straightening him out. I'm not being a traitor to my gender; I'm just telling you like it is.
You just may be the innocent by-stander. The lady on the receiving-end of some nonsense. Wondering, what the hell? He may have had an attack of conscience; he's not sure he's over her yet. If she found-out he's on a dating site through snooping or a friend; he got outta there quick!
You won't believe this; but guys will also go on hookup lines when their self-esteem is taking a dive, or after a rejection. All they needed was a ego-boost! Then there is just pure spite! Hurl your insults, call him names, or call yourself emasculating your man; and he might go online and find a lady who thinks he's hot! He won't hookup with her, he just needs a female to be nice and make him feel good about himself. Then others will hookup the first chance they get!
There are also many guys out there who prefer to be the aggressor; yep ladies, there are still some old-fashioned male-chauvinists who prefer to be the pursuer.
No matter what his particular reason or reasons are; don't take it personally, or assume that it has to be you. You're online; so expect to run into flakes, scams, trolls, freaks, and creeps. Oh, and dodgers! They talk a good game, when it's time to meet...POOF!
I'd suggest you block and delete him. He'll call out of the blue; and I'll guarantee you, it's only a booty-call. After things are said and done; he will go ghost on you!
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 August 2018):
 Yeah, I agree that he probably is back with the ex... or as gorgeous as he found you he didn't want to put in any further effort.
If I were you I'd just block and delete the dude and move on.
And I agree that you handled the whole "trade nudes" really well. I think it's a BIG mistake for anyone to trade/send nudes to people they don't really know.. and even in some cares to people they know well. Who wants to be some random dudes spank material, eww.
Even If you are just looking for casual... someone who barely puts in any effort or energy isn't worth it.
Don't you think you can do better than this? Who cares what ONE guy did?
I hope you are at least being VERY good about using protection so the likelihood of all these hook up doesn't result in STD's or a pregnancy. The more partner you have, the bigger the chance of STD's. Just saying. And some you can't avoid with condoms.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 August 2018):
 Talk is cheap. He called you gorgeous but apparently did not think that were gorgeous enough to justify the need for him to drag his ass from somewhere to where you are, keep going that minimum of conversation that is considered decent even for the randomest of hookups, and in general go through all the physical, time- and energy-consuming actions which are necessary to bring a sexual act to fruition. As opposed ,instead, to the zero effort of getting your nude pics in the privacy and comfort of his home and have a nice, quick wanking session at his own convenience.
Guys have gotten so lazy , nowadays :). Too much technology, too much CHOICE, they can't even bother to get laid in person- too much hassle. You have probably been discarded in favour of some other lady more forthcoming with her pics ( btw, you have been smart to not send him any, because you had no way to be sure that your pics were not going, in future, to be passed to his friends or circulated all over the web. Not that he must necessarily be such a jerk, but , not knowing him well , you could not simply just trust that he isn't ).
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (17 August 2018):
 My first guess is that he reconciled with his ex-girlfriend, and so he took himself out of the casual market. If he had just broken up with his girlfriend, obviously his looking for fun and not wanting a relationship showed that he wasn't yet over her. In this circumstance, 95% of the time, suddenly ceasing "rebound" behaviors like one night stands, hookups, or other issues like that means that there was most likely a reconciliation with the partner he or she wasn't over.
Either way, don't take what happened personally. If you're looking for fun only, there are millions of guys out there eager to accommodate.
PS. VERY GOOD choice of not passing nudes. I've never been a fan of internet nudes, as they can be circulated to people you didn't intend them to see, or they can be used as revenge, and the internet is forever.
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