A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi,I was having sex with this player..we enjoy the chemistry between us and he just cannot commit. Anyhow, my question is not about commitment but about sex. We've had sex several times over the years..Usually it is sensual and soooo much chemistry involved, but last time it was hard core wild mind blowing sex at least that's what it seemed to me..when he orgasmed, we lied down next to each tother hugging, and after a few seconds he started laughing so loud as if someone was tickling him? I asked whats funny, he said nothing..that left me uneasy but i never showed him. I stopped contact with him for other reasons, since he s a player. He always enjoyed sex with me over the years, but last time was the first time he laughed..could it be because he had a blast!!!! or because he had a bet with himself that he would nail me down in bed after a long game of playing hard to get which lasted six months...????
View related questions:
orgasm, player Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2011): Do not respond, it's what he wants, in the past you have always given in,seen him eventually. Break the pattern and when the the penny drops that you don't want to know he will eventually get bored.
When he hits a 'dry patch' he probably goes through his phone, texts his past conquests until one responds.
Your worth more.
A
female
reader, chickpea2011  +, writes (22 October 2011):
 Hi,You are welcome! I was just being honest. You seem like a nice, smart girl, and I understand that when it comes to love it's hard to be rational. I've been there, you know the truth, and what's right for you, but somehow find yourself going back...What did I tell you? If you ignore him, he will be persistent, and more aggressive.. Lol... He's just making excuses to see you, etc. The thing is, if you don't have feelings for him, it's ok to continue this relationship, have fun, since you both have chemistry, nowdays people have FWB, and if both parties are ok with no commitments, no feelings, or string attach, however in your case you admit that you do like him, and the more you see him, continue being intimate I am afraid that your feelings will only grow stronger, and at the end you are going to be the only one hurt...I am glad you didn't contact him for 3 months, and I hope you continue being strong. You know him for years now, and I don't think he's ready for commitment, yet. It's hard to be in this kind of relationship, it's unhealthy for you, both mentally, and physically. Also, stressful... Who knows in few days, weeks, months, when you are ready you can continue being friends with him, but right now I feel you are still very vulnerable, which makes sense...You need to stay away from him, put your thoughts together, and be happy, free from this roller coaster emotions. Take time for yourself, enjoy your life, because you are still young, meet your friends more frequently, and make new friends. I am sure you won't have problems meeting new guys. You will realize that there are sweet, caring guys out there. You deserve respect, you deserve someone that will care for you, make you happy...Best wishes, good luck, and let's us know how you are doing... :)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you everyone for your great advise and insight!!
and thanks chickpea2011 for your great advise and wisdom! I haven't been in contact with him for three months. he tries to call me once a week or every two weeks and I never respond. He also messaged me today: "can i ask you something?" and i didnt respond. the problem with him, is that he doesn't allow me to move on. like you said i had some feelings for him and it doesn't help for him to persist, it confuses me coz im sure he has other girls on the side. is it his ego that can't take no and wants to be acknowledged, and when i do he becomes cold again. this is not a fun game for mw. i dont know if i should just ignore him or text him back that i have moved on and its time to put this game to rest.
...............................
A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (21 October 2011):
Hi,
Sorry this no class, stupid idiot make you feel this way... You describe him as player? The title player is funny to me? What these kind of men/players will get at the end? STD...
Doesn't matter why he laughed.... He's an idiot... Specially if he's around your age, have no future, immature, no class, and will never be successful, because usually players have small brains.
Ok, you mentioned, you've been doing this for years? STOP.... the past is the past, there's nothing to can do, it's done, lesson learned.... People make mistakes, so move forward, no regrets, you did what you had to do, and never look back. You didn't do anything wrong, the only mistake you made is get attached, and have feelings for a looser, and sometimes you cannot control your heart, and you don't choose who to love.
Please, forget the player, he's a looser... You are young, so go out with your friends, meet lots of guys, have fun, and when you least expect you will meet an amazing, sweet, caring, smart guy, that will respect, and truly love you the way you deserve. Do not contact, do not reply, do not meet, never ever again. Ok?.... ( watch, this will make him go after you, when it happens, you laugh at his face)
Good luck sweetie, don't think about it anymore, and enjoy your life, and your youth...
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2011): I laugh in bed when I'm feeling really happy, the way little kids laugh... out of sheer delight. Like champagne bubbles rising up through my body. I think it's a good sign.
The guy JUST had an orgasm. He probably was still in the throes. I seriously doubt he was laughing AT you in a bad way. It's not really the time people are feeling all mean spirited towards others or victorious about some secret imaginary bet.
You feeling uncomfortable with it speaks more to your own insecurities. Because you don't have a good trusting relationship with him and you are just using each other for sex, makes sense that you would feel insecure about it.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2011): ...........because you tickled his fancy?
he's a player, he probably had a great time, another notch on his bedpost, don't analyse it,its odd yea but beats him bursting out crying... just forget it and move on.
...............................
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (21 October 2011):
How did you play hard-to-get for over six months when you've had sex over the years? If he's hit it once, then there's not much for him to get.
Personally, I would think the way you described him laughing sounds a bit weird. I think you're worrying about it too much and getting self conscious over it. For all you know, he thought about something funny right then that you wouldn't understand and it had nothing to do with you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Batterytea  +, writes (21 October 2011):
 So...you guys had sex, then after you guys lied in silence, and then suddenly he burst into laughter, and then didn't say anything about it after...?Not to be rude, but WHY are you having sex with a PLAYER? That's objectifying yourself; treating yourself like an object. You and his multiple other girls are all his playthings for him to have fun with and he obviously doesn't care about any of you. You clearly care about him enough to post this question on the Internet, which isn't very healthy.To put it bluntly, I put myself in his shoes for a moment and thought about why I might laugh. MY GUESS (mine! It might not be right) is that he's a player and you know it, yet you're still having sex with him, and he thinks it's so ridiculous that you'd do that to yourself, he started laughing. That's what I think.
...............................
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (21 October 2011):
 Does it matter why he laughed? Will it hurt or damage your self-esteem either way?
I think most people laugh from pleasure. There are some strange ones who laugh because they are sarcastic. Assume from pleasure, smile and go on about your life without spending one more minute wondering.
Create your own peace!
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 October 2011):
 I really cannot answer this question, because only he knows why he started laughing. It could be a number of things but it really is impossible to tell. Maybe he was just happy as he enjoyed himself. Who knows. But honey you said yourself he is a player and therefore I think you should just put it to the back of your mind and forget about it. Get rid of him out of your life and move forward.
...............................
|
