A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Was with a guy for nearly a year. Its a year in July. For the last 4 months he has been acting strange. Breaking up by txt message and we have been on and off 9 times now...last night he decided to break up with me just like that...he said he didn't want to ever come back..so I said fine I agree even though it hurt me to do so...I said there is no point if ur not willing to commit to me in the long run.Anyway I did his washing..went out to collect it and when I came back to my flat he had done a runner..a houdini. I told him I was at my wits end that he keeps to let me down. We were watching a soap opera together and he compared me to a girl who is v vain who cheated on her boyf. I would never cheat on him so couldn't understand why a) he compared me to her.b) he started to mud sling called me evil, selfish and abusive..YET I never once called him names..was simply nice and he accused me of lying and twisting the truth...I didnt have a clue of what he was talking about... am v simple c) this is a person I have been trying to have a baby with and hopefully marry so am v upset by his v v sudden shift of opinion about me. He said he phoned a shrink and got advice about me and that the shrink said I was in a world of my own - loved getting attention from others. I don't know why he has got so jealous of my facebook activity. He said he did his best after a year of trying! saying 'you strick the fear of god in me' never again ..go away and take the piss out of somebody else! last word to me...Bye.. HOW did I take the piss out of him??? I don't bitch about him to my friends..ONLY say good things...and I washed his clothes. He called me a liar but I don't lie to him. I told him he was the liar as he promised to clean the dishes as I removed his washing but he never did..instead did a runner from my flat. I love the guy properly but he thinks I still love my ex. I have lots of great friends who ring me up cos they don't want me to be sad and in the gutter again...NOT cos they want to be with me...and well I can't understand where his jealousy came from. d) I washed his clothes ...he told me go ahead cut them up..u r sad..I repled with no I hugged them sob... BUT how can a man who was totally besotted with me before...NOW hate me this much. I told him a girl doesn't want a jerk...she wants a nice guy...why can't you simply be the nice guy you were when I met you...its like as soon as he got comfortable with me..he stopped doing the little things...and became demanding. Asking me to make his tea and stuff...His last message read: I dont want you anymore...Because ur evil, abusive, selfish and a pain! ciear...go Away! BUT I replied with well if I am so evil why did you have sex with me?? why were you trying to give me a baby if you don't want me??? I think he was drunk when he txt it cos he mistyped the word clear and wrote ciear...BUT still that doesn't excuse him at all. He also told me sort by own problems out with someone else! WHY I only want him..WHICH he knows...He also wrote another upsetting message that reads: I will be long dead before that penny drops for you! keeping away from you from now on...ok Sleeping.I had a child die in my arms from a previous relationship. So the fact he spoke about death really hurt me. That message still cuts me up. I went with him as he is 21 yrs older then me. I thought he wud be more sensitive to my feelings and I thought that he would never ever play games with me given my previous circumstances so why is he playing games now... I hate to say this but I want him back...I love the guy and want it to work out. I know it can PROVIDING he is nice enough towards me and doesnt take me for granted. I told him I felt unappreciated. So what now..I guess all I can do is ignore him. I told him if you need time..he wrote back time..no piss off ok...but dont know if he wrote that while drunk. Any ideas? I also had unprotected sex with him too and my stomach seems to be doing something strange.. Will he come back..can someone after slating you so horribly???
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drunk, facebook, jealous, liar, my ex, unprotected sex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks yeah..I tried to avoid what happened by asking him to talk it through with me..but he kept to avoid eye contact and seemed a bit edgy..and it was all cos he was devising in his head to run out the door to me..and here was me not knowing and just picking his laundry. I didn't know a breakup was coming..cos I asked him if he was ok and where he was..he then txtd in a taxi enroute home, nite. Then Relax, nite. THEN on txt 3, dumped just like that poof...and since then he has been v angry and I have no idea as to why cos he refuses to talk to me about things face to face even though I have requested him nicely to do so for both our sakes...any ideas?? I am leaving him alone. He never replied to the mail which said now the tables have turned. I am ready to commit to you and now you don't want. He even told me to go on Facebook and tell all my friends how bad he is for not doing the dishes but I didn't - I mean why wud I ?? I respect him..so what made him come out with this?? is he jealous of all the attention I am getting on Facebook and mobile. I dont know why it bothers him now as it never did in the beginning???
A
female
reader, ilovebowsandcherries  +, writes (12 June 2009):
 eugh! what a loon!!!breaking up over a text?grow some balls man like!!hun you deserve to be treated like royality putting up with a wind bag like him.i mean you say he accuses you of all these things yet you're not one bit of them i reckon he's covering up the fact that he IS the liar and he is everything else he has called you that's why he's trying to accuse you and cover up his tracks hence why he's ended it with you soooooo many times and over texts because he's not man enough to admit that he's done you wrong and that you TOTALLY don't deserve any of that but he wants to make you out to be the bad guy so it seems like it was you whom ruined the relationship when clearly it was him all along.you need to find someone whose decent and knows a great girl when he's got one and knows how to treat one when he's got one with respect.he still needs to do ALOT of growing up!!!he'll end up alone otherwise.hope this helps sweety.good luck x x x x x x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009): First of all, I have no respect for people who break over text messages, It has happened to me, and i lost all kinds of respect I had for this person. this guy sounds sounds very manipulative and the best thing u can do is stay away and find somebody who doesnt have these issues
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (12 June 2009):
 Why do you want him back - so that he can continue to verbally abuse you and treat you like his hired help? Move on, he is definitely not worth it! YOU are worthy of someone better.
Honeygirl
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe has since given me an updated txt...claiming he has waited a year for me..not waiting any longer...ITS OVER! BUT...he has done this process to me 9 times now..and well..I am willing to give him what he wants which is a commitment..how come the tables have turned and he is running the other way...he never replied to my mail which said..you always wanted me to commit to you NOW LOOK...you go the other way. Not fair. I don't want to just throw this relationship away just yet as yesterday we were having sex..and everything was fine..until he got this mental blockage and ran away...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009): I think that if he is binig like that then you can do so much better for this to happen so many times shows that the relationship was never going to work. Go your seperate way, it will be hard i am not denying but in time you will meet someone really nice who will embrace your kind nature rather than abuse it. I wish you the best of luck in the furure, hope things turn out ok. xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009): talk to the guy. maybe he is doing so because you upset him. people dont just say nasty things to people for no apparent reason.talk to him about it, and change your ways if he happens to be correct.
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