A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'll try to keep this as short as possible.I dated a girl last year from about April to June. It was a very short yet meaningful relationship. I was in love with the girl, and I'm pretty sure she was in love with me too. We never confessed it to each other, but we would tell each other things we would never tell anyone else. She had never been with anyone else like me, and honestly, I had never met a girl like her before, and that fact remains.Anyway, she broke up with me in June. I made a huge mistake. Took her for granted, did something horribly regretful. She stopped talking to me, and I went insane. I did really weird shit, stalkerish things. I wasn't in the right frame of mind, I never had anyone like her before, and I just wasn't prepared for it.It took awhile to get over the relationship, but I did. I'm fine now, though I still regret what I did to her. I really would have preferred to be on good terms with her. I knew that would never happen though, considering what I did to her.Until 2 days ago. She instant messaged me. Completely out of the blue. She told me she was having crazy thoughts and wanted to see how I was doing. She kept asking if she was bothering me, annoying me, and I told her she wasn't. I told her she can probably imagine how stunned I am to hear from her though.We talked for about a half hour, until she stopped replying to my messages. So I told her that I hope everything is going great for her, and I'd be back later.Well, two days later and I still haven't heard from her. I don't really get it. I don't want her back or anything, I've had a girlfriend for awhile now. I just don't understand why she would message me unexpectedly and stop talking to me. I don't know why she would even consider talking to me after everything I did to her. What the hell were/are her intentions? Should I talk to her? Blah.
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (27 January 2010):
 Like you said, when you were together you were both very close and had a bond. For some reason she's been thinking of you and how you're doing and has went so far as to get in touch again. She may be genuinely missing you or her texts might just have been out of curiousity to see how you're doing. Leave things as they are for now. If she DOES want to get in touch with you again then I have no doubts she will as she has your number now but leave it up to HER to make that move.
~Eve~
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all of your answers. I must have read each about 10 times over =P I appreciate it all.
To clear a few things up, there was never any emotional abuse. It was a one time thing. She had told me bits and pieces about her past relationships, and what guys would do to her. She was very reluctant to start a new relationship, but I had made so many promises to her that I would never do anything to hurt her. During the relationship, I treated her great. I'd hear from her friends that she was incredibly happy, and they had never seen that side of her before.
Then I broke one of my promises which ended it! I also forgot to mention that she almost never forgives. Apologizing to her at this point concerning what I did wouldn't do a thing.
I found out she acquired my screen name from her best friend's boyfriend, who is a good friend of mine. I wish he would have warned me so I could have anticipated it, you know? Whatever.
I have an idea to find out if she would like to continue talking, so that's about it. Thanks for all of your answers.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2010): I pretty much agree with Emilyanswers. I had a relationship that got all skewered around....for a time there was not contact and then when it initially began it was weird and uncomfortable. as time goes on we have on occasion mentioned the problems and talked thru them a bit here and there. every so often my friend will contact me out of the blue and really not say a lot ....i think it is just making sure I'm ok. slowly it has become more comfortable and i hear something a couple of times a week. for me it has been a healing thing and not a "i wish we could resume" thing.
also a note aside from your question...you seem like a good person who regrets his actions. Don't spend too much time beating yourself up. consider it a lesson learned and move on. :) honey we all have regrets. use your mistakes to make you a better person and leave the mistakes of yesterday in the past. from my own experience forgiving oneself is the hardest thing to do. but you cant redo the past. focus on the present and the future. good luck, mal
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A
female
reader, LallaZine +, writes (27 January 2010):
 Wow it's all so confusing...maybe the relationship came at the wrong time and left you both feeling confused. But we cant live with regrets so if you two can be friends and put it behind you, that would be a solution. Easier said than done, I know.
It's been two days since you heard from her. And that can seem like forever with this kind of situation, but I think you just need to be patient and Im sure next time you speak to each other, you will both be able to clear the air. It must have been weird speaking to her after all that time.
It's obvious this girl has had a big impact on you. She's still thinking about you and you still think about her....it's obvious you still have a lot to talk about. Try to talk to her soon and afterwards you may feel a little less confused and it might all start to make sense. Whatever you have done to her in the past, your friendship may be strong enough to be able to leave it in the past and move on - together or separately.
Good luck with everything
x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2010): Just leave it now. She was probably bored and wondered how you were doing. Remember you did the bad thing to her, so she owes you nothing...hence when she had had enough chatting to you she just went. Dont read too much into the contact x
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (27 January 2010):
She probably felt so bad that you went insane after the breakup that she wanted to check you were still alive and she didn't have a suicide on her conscience.
Also she may be curious about why you treated her so badly if you "loved" her enough to stalk her.
I think best thing to do is just accept that both of you are now ok and getting on with life. If you restart contact it will just bring up old problems.
Some relationships get all crazy like this. It doesn't mean you won't meet someone who will make you feel even more in love, it just means you were out of your depth at the time.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, jamielea kellow +, writes (27 January 2010):
 hi, well it seems that she was really upset about something and she needed to talk to someone and she just picked you. but then she might have thought to herself 'what am i doing i might be making him think that i want to be in a realationship with him.' i know that some of this might sound a bit harsh, but i'm just trying to get the message across. i hope that this info helps you alot. xx
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A
female
reader, jamielea kellow +, writes (27 January 2010):
i think you should go up to her house and see what is the matter because she is clearly worried or sad about something happening because a girl dosent blank you out if there is nothing wrong, she only blanks you out if there is something wrong, so stop thinking what should do and go over there and talk hopefully she'll tell you whats wrong and you could sort it out.OK?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2010): This reminds me of my last boyfriend. He didn't just take me for granted, he turned it into emotional abuse. I broke up with him and we didn't talk for half a year then I called him. For me, I was forgiving him for all the shit he put me through. I still cared about him, but there was no way in all the Hells that I was going to try anything again. So, I forgave him in the only way I knew how. I talked. I found out that he got over me in a heartbeat and was switching between over 13 girls... That bothered me a bit. He talked back though which was a good sign. I asked all the time if he wanted me to go or if I was bothering him. He very rarely said "yes" and after about a month he figured out what I had done. I forgave him and maybe that's what she's trying to tell you.
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