A
male
age
51-59,
*alloonBoy
writes:Not to sure why I am writing this, I think I know the answer, but maybe this will make me feel a bit better?A young Lady in my work environment seemed to try to get my attention by turning up at certain times, not going into much detail, e.g. when I came back from my hols she would present herself, make an effort to have a conversation, little looks and stares (Not Paranoid).Also I would make a little effort and have small conversation and crack jokes were I would get giggles and laughs at my jokes, so I thought she seems to have an interest in me.I am quiet a popular person at work who jokes and laughs with everyone and gets on ok with everyone even have a few admirers around but didn't really do anything as I had just finished a long distance relationship I was in for a good few years.I am still good friend with my ex and still have feeling for her but the usual excuse we both want different things. Because we are good friends I know she still likes me and wants to be with me but doesn't want to commit (she told me).Anyway I was very concerned how she would take it (I don't hurt friends)but she likes to know everything that goes on in my life so I told her when we having a phone conversation, as we were talking she burst into tears, I felt so bad.You can imagine what happened after that and the questions that were throw at me, she always use to say to me, because we want different things you better find another woman?, she is hard on the out side and very soft on the inside.Back to the main subject, anyway I am not a very fast person on the mark and was forever checking out this first situation and decided to do a eye contact check, I approached her one day and looked her right in her eyes as I was talking to her, she giggled a couple of times then walked off giddy, I thought wow.Anyway the eye contact from her intensified were I would look at her for a couple of seconds the look away, this happened a good few times were I could see her get angry and frustrated because of a lack of response from me.The joking still carried on the looks and other signs as well, (I won't be anymore long winded), so I thought I would talk to her.I kept missing her so I got a message to her that I did like her, and thought I would ask her out the next time we meet up.I found that as all this was happening I was starting to fall for her (a crust), and I did meet up with her and told her I had an interest,................ and she said she was in a long term relationship? Just a bit shocked.
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at work, long distance, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (10 December 2012):
 Shocked that someone flirted with you even though they were in a relationship??
Happens every day and both men and women do it.
Why do they do it?...to get attention.
I also agree with YOUWISH about the ex thing.
You would not accept that behaviour from someone you dated so why should they accept it from you.
Staying friends with ex's is seldom a good idea and almost always causes complications.
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (10 December 2012):
 First of all, she didn't lead you on. You two never dated. She immediately told you that she was in a relationship when you made a move on her, telling her you that you were interested in her. She did the right thing by you in not letting the friendship progress farther.
NOW. You need to stop being friends with your ex. Seriously. Would you date a woman who keeps contact with her ex that she still has feelings for? Would you be angry if your girlfriend maintained a close friendship with a former boyfriend who still has feelings for her and asks personal questions about her love life?
Nope. If you're interested in being with someone in a relationship, you cannot be friends with your ex. Your friendship with your ex isn't platonic because you still have feelings for her.
So if leading people on bothers you, then know that every day you are still in contact with your ex, then trying to start relationships with new women is leading them on, because they think you don't have baggage when you do.
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