A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was in love with my ex. As are most people. I would like to think that he was in love with me too. He broke up with me on Halloween. I suppose out of fear, because he has never seen a relationship work. Not with his parents or with his own romances. He is a divorcee and his wife (high school sweetheart) left him. But when he met me, well…I even told him that I am in for the long ride. I do not do well with “throwing the love away”. I like to work things out. And once I fall, I am on you and I have to be beaten away with a stick. But alas, he did beat me away with a stick… metaphorically. He broke up with me and it was frustrating. Afterwards he would say that he did not understand why he did it because it was hurting him to be without me. That he could not stop talking or thinking about me and that we could probably work it out if he could put his pride aside. Unfortunately, he could not. So we remained broken up and I stopped contacting him. Well, it just so happens that a few weeks ago he asked his mom to give me his new number. On the DL she explained that he sounded like he really wanted to talk to me and had told her that he was kind of wishing that we could start to be friends and begin to talk and hang out again. Which is something that I would have LOVED to do. However, when we actually got on the phone with one another he was displaying a haughty “I do not care” and “I am all put together” attitude. It seemed that he did not care about anything concerning us. He emphasized that his parents wanted to see us back together, but he was not looking for that right now. And he did not want to listen to what I had to say about my feelings concerning the break up. And this made me upset!After the fact, I realize my fault in bringing the past back up though. And I feel bad. It just created a mess. He got sensitive, I got offended and it ended badly. But when I tried to come back and apologize, try to see if we could just start over…he did not respond to the text. So I sent another the next day. But instead of telling me to leave him alone himself, he had his MOTHER do it for him via FB. Said he was going to switch his number if I did not stop contacting him.It is not like I can do anything…if I contact him again, seems like it’d just cause drama. So I am not asking advice that way. I was just curious what is going on. I do not get how it is THAT serious or why he could not tell me himself to leave him alone. Or why he apparently wanted to be in contact and now has changed his mind.
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broke up, divorce, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 February 2013):
 “I was in love with my ex. As are most people”
Mistake 1… most people who are healthy are NOT in love with their ex. IF you believe that to be a healthy normal way to be, you would be mistaken.
He broke up with you 3 months ago… not long in the span of time… you must still be healing…
He had his mommy contact you to give you his number so he could see if you would stroke his ego and call (and you did, you fell right into his trap)
He wanted you to stroke his ego and contact him and you did… then he gets his MOM to do his dirty work.
Delete his number, block his number, his email and all social media. Of him and his family and close associates.
He’s a game player and he’s not worth the energy!
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (4 February 2013):
 This guy has serious ISSUES.
1. He is a divorcee - so how old is this man? I presume he must be a fair bit older than you if you are 18-21. So if there is an age difference that is not going to help matters.
2. However this brings me onto my next point - regardless of his age, he is incredibly immature. Does he still live with his parents? From your post it sounds like he does, which is a very bad sign for a man over the age of 21. And the fact he has to get his mum to pass messages onto you is just pathetic, he clearly has no ability to communicate in a grown up manner.
3. He has committment issues due to the break ups of other relationships in his life. It sounds like after his divorce he is consumed by fear of someone else leaving him, so regardless of him meeting someone he likes, he will never allow himself to get too close through fear.
All of this basically creates a man who is on the rebound from his ex wife, someone who cant committ because of fear, someone who is incredibly immature and someone who is incapable of communicating.
You have had a VERY lucky escape from a man who can only cause a woman grief - he is not capable of having a happy committed relationship because of his own issues and he needs some professional help before he will ever be able to be in a sucessful relationship again.
Delete all of his numbers, email addresses etc, delete him and his mother off Facebook - make sure there is no way you can contact him or his mother, and make sure there is no way to see what is going on in his life or anyone connected to him.
You need a clean break, this man is not relationship potential and he is best left alone to deal with his problems. Dont waste anymore of your time on him, you will never be happy with this man. Move on, and try and find a guy who doesnt have so many issues next time.
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