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age
36-40,
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writes: Hi,I was with my ex for about 7 years, since we were young teens. He treated me very badly throughout the relationship but only subtly - he wasn't openly nasty but refused to spend time with me and even when we lived together he used to spend time alone. It was as if he could not stand my company. This made me very insecure, I loved him to pieces (and perhaps even idolised him) but he kept ignoring me.Anyway, after around 3 years of this the relationship felt as though it was ended. I broke it off and I found someone else (perhaps a little too soon). This hurt him very much but at the time all I was focussing on was getting out of the relationship which ultimately dragged me down, shattered my confidence and dignity. A few months after I started to feel guilty so contacted him for "closure". He replied, blaming everything on me at first but then admitted that he'd taken me for granted. He was ashamed for how he acted throughout the relationship; in a nutshell he knew I adored him and he took full advantage of this. We didn't speak after this.Now, 7 months later he emailed me to tell me that he doesn't resent me and he forgives me for what I did (for finding someone else almost immediately after we broke up). I started talking to him again and he tells me that he's the happiest he's ever been since he was a teenager (but admits that it wasn't me that made him unhappy). I told him I missed him, because I do terribly, and he told me to just be happy and stop dwelling on the past. Now we talk as though were just friends.The thing that bothers me is, why did he email me after all that time to tell me that he is happy? I don't know why he is doing this.Thank you so much for your help. I'm in turmoil.
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broke up, confidence, insecure, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (14 January 2013):
 Who cares? He's probably bitter and jealous and wants to make you feel jealous. He's stroking his own ego in a "I'll show her" kind of way.
Pathetic and immature. Next time just ignore his call/messages.
Tell him to concentrate on his girlfriend and leave you alone.
He's just trying to rub your face in it. Would you want to be with someone who acts like this? No.
Move on.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (14 January 2013):
 It does NOT matter WHY he is doing it. To be honest so many times we worry about WHY someone is doing something regardless of what we are going to do with this information.
IF he was doing it because he wanted you back would you go back to him? I Hope NOT so that point is moot. Does NOT matter if he wants you back... your not going.
IF he was doing it for HIS closure... that is his need not yours... he got it... so you can be done.
IF he is doing it to rub in your face he's fine without you, well then BFD... you don't' really care do you?
WHY are you in turmoil. WHAT do you WANT his reason to be?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2013): He wanted closure. He wanted to put things right. He wanted to let you know he no longer resents or blames you. He forgives you for hurting him. Sounds like he is genuinely in a good place, and he wants you to be happy too.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2013): That's because he's not happy. If he was he wouldn't be wasting his time writing an email to his ex to say so. People who are happy in a relationship are not thinking about connecting with their exes.
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