A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Appreciate any answers.I believe I can't physically satisfy my girlfriend and as a consequence believe I should leave her.I want to leave her if as I don't want a gf I can't please and I worry that this may be a reason for her leaving me so this is me acting me first before I 'invest' more time in our relationshipAny thoughts?I'm 22 and we've been dating about a year. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (14 January 2013):
 YOU believe you can’t satisfy her. DOES SHE BELIEVE THIS?
WHY do you believe you can’t satisfy her? Does she say “I need more?” Does she ask for oral sex that you won’t provide? Do you believe that if you last long enough and pound hard enough that you will satisfy her?
Do you understand that less than 30% of all women orgasm from intercourse or your fingers moving in and out of her vagina?
Do you understand that GOOD oral skills are probably necessary for you to satisfy her?
FWIW I left a man who could make me orgasm for a man who can’t and won’t’ try. Willingly. My ex-husband while sexually satisfying was emotionally draining because he had no self-esteem. Since I can readily bring myself to orgasm I don’t need a man to do it.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (14 January 2013):
 Why do you think you aren't satisfying her? If she's not finishing then you need to ask her what you can do to help her orgasm, oral sex, fingers, a vibrator, whatever she needs. Just as an FYI the vast majority of women don't orgasm from intercourse, so if that's what you're trying leaving won't fix the issue.
Why don't you talk to her about what she needs?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 January 2013):
 You " believe " you can't physically satisfy your gf, but...is that a fact ? Did she say so, did she complain about something specific ? If not, where did you get this idea from ?
I don't know but I've got the feeling this is another of those " penis size anxiety " questions.... ( oh gosh ).
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (13 January 2013):
Dear OP -
Well, that's a weird question. If you can't physically satisfy your girlfriend, you're just gonna run away and hope that you can satisfy the next woman? And by the way, what do you mean by "physically satisfy"? Is there something special that you can't do and that she would like you to do? Or is it just a general conclusion about your qualities as a lover?
What about feelings, do you love her? Or is she just someone you hang out with because you don't want to be lonely?
My advice: If you really like the girl, breaking up just because you're scared she might break up due to some possible sexual dissatisfaction, that's very stupid. Don't let your fear rule your life and especially, your love life. You can, instead, communicate more with her, ask if she likes things the way they are, or if you can improve anything. You can also work on your technique and become a better lover.
If this is just an excuse to end a relationship where something is missing, just end it.
If you need some down-to-earth advice on how to please your girlfriend, I recommend "how to be a great lover" by Lou Paget. I read it when I had a girlfriend (I had a lesbian relationship) and it tought me one or two things.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2013): Some more information is needed. Why do you feel you can't please her physically. What exactly is she doing? Many women don't climax and it's something to work on. Not leave. If that's the problem, then yet again you become just another guy. If you take the time to figure what she needs and how to please her, that alone could be a turn on. Just be patient. And breaking up with her before she does with you is just plain old stupid. You're old enough to get that. This isn't the 7th grade. Good luck
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A
male
reader, Hennessy1989 +, writes (13 January 2013):
 Woh!!! Hang on just a minute! First off if your happy with this girl and you love and care about her then don't leave her.
Secondly what makes you think you can't please her?? Supply more details. What you have to understand is if she's stuck with you for a year then she is clearly happy with you physically
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