A
female
age
36-40,
*weetheart1nonly
writes: My ex and I have been broken up since April/May. He broke up with me after we had a misunderstanding and fought verbally. I did the usual, called him, sent emails, love songss and all, till June 25th, then stopped and decided to move on. I was not expecting to hear from him again. On the 3rd of August around 6.30am, my phone rang and I saw his number, i didn't pick up and then he called me again, I didn't pick up. Then I decided to call back around 1.pm, he didn't pick up, I left no voice message neither did I call back. Ever since I've been wondering why he might have called me or was it a mistake, he called me after this while or could it be someone else. I would have thought he deleted my number. Why didn't he pick up? All these questions keep running through my head. Please help, would really appreciate. Thanks.
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (11 August 2009):
 I read some of your past posts. And, why would you waste your time on someone who cheats on you? Going after him as you had is like saying that you don't deserve better. So, why do you just settle and chase after someone who doesn't seem as if he's the best for you in the first place? When your with someone, how do you expect to be treated?
I know breaking up is hard. Often leaves many unanswered questions. However, I'd rather be single than be with someone who doesn't treat me good. Why should you ever settle for less than you deserve? I don't believe you deserve to be with someone who's not faithful. You need to find someone who doesn't think of being with anyone but you. Someone who's going to give you a true relationship, that you can trust without any doubt.
There is someone out there like that for you. It might take a little waiting and brushing off guys who are not like that, but the waiting is worth finding the right person. When you do, you'll wonder why you ever settled for less. I really don't believe here that he's the one you are waiting for.
Take care.
A
female
reader, sweetheart1nonly +, writes (10 August 2009):
sweetheart1nonly is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou are welcome and I appreciate you taking your time out to help here. I would post the links to the other posts before this incident.
And yes I felt the same way too, if he really wanted to talk to me and no mistake, he would have tried calling again or at least pick up when i called him. I even wonder why he didn't pick up his phone which gt me thinking it might have been a mistake he dialled my number or perhaps still doesn't want to hear from me.
Well this was actually the first break up that we stayed for more than 3months apart. We used to have misunderstandings mainly caused by him, but of course I'm the one that ends up begging, begging,and begging.
Yeah I know the constant emails, songs, calls and all I did wasn't the best but at that period, i had to. I couldn't believe we had broken up for real but like i said, i stopped since 2months ago and laying low only for me to see his missed calls last week.
And pls even if you want to fill up this page lol, feel free, there is no limit to advices given. Thanks
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (9 August 2009):
Thank you for the email. There is no reason why you should have to play games. I don't think it was a mistake either. He may have wanted to considered talking to you. If he really desired doing so, wouldn't he be more persistent in getting a hold of you? Unless he contacts you again, I wouldn't worry about why he did, since he's not really making an effort to get in touch.
Now, you did the usual? Does this happen often, the verbal argument, break up, then do the calling, love songs and emails? Reason I ask, is if that's the usual, you're response after a fight is scripted. My dad was someone who was scripted. We'd get into a verbal argument, I'd take off and go home, you could pretty much time 20 minutes and he'd be at my door apologizing, until I stopped him and told him the broken record wasn't going to play anymore.
With that response he knew he'd come over, I'd forgive him as usual, but it gave mo reason to not blow up over little things. The following Christmas I gave him tapes on controlling anger. Now he just doesn't blow up.
My story may be different from how you handle things. I know break ups are hard, and at times we feel if we drill them with emails and romantic gestures they'll come back. That actually does the opposite, and pushes them away. When this happens and you get into an argument. Send an email or make a phone call, then allow time for a response. You want him to know you need him, but without seeming needy.
I know I went a little further than what you'd asked, but I hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, sweetheart1nonly +, writes (9 August 2009):
sweetheart1nonly is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys truly appreciate. Some people said it could have been a mistake but I doubt that at least 80%. Well i'm not up for games any more though I've been thinking about it for long, why he must have called, but I guess I may never really really know why.Thanks once again guys and would still appreciate more answers if there are.
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A
female
reader, scott1shlass  +, writes (9 August 2009):
I doubt it was a mistake, he did call you twice afterall. He will have been used to getting your attention and probably quite enjoying it too..for it all of a sudden to stop. He's obviously been asking himself a few questions, like "why hasnt she called?" "why have the emails stopped?" "has she forgotton about me?". I'd say you did the right thing by calling once and thats it. I'm guessing after he called he thought about it long and hard and felt like an idiot cos you never picked up, so maybe this is intentional he wants you to wonder what he wanted? It was probably a daft reason, an excuse to call you to see whats up. But in all honestly you'll probably never really know unless you bump into him and ask and he tells you.
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