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Why did it take 2 years and an ultimatum for him to be attentive?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 October 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 20 October 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

You guys may remember me from my previous questions : I am the 24 year old virgin female with the 40 year old partner who just wont have sex.

Well, things have changed a lot now. Let me give you guys some background: For the past two years he has not initiated sex, I have tried to seduce him and have also talked to him about it. Yes, we are in a committed relationship and we do other 'couple' things but for some reason he tried to have sex with me once (i said no) and never tried again. So for the past two years nothing has happened. Then the previous week I gave him an ultimatum to either sleep with me or leave.

Since then he has been wonderful, he has been attentive and loving and has been trying to start things almost every single day! He is like a new man. In fact, I have been resisting him as I didn't expect the change to happen so soon. I REALLY love this new him- he has a new found attraction to me and makes me feel so sexy. However, I cannot let go of the fact that it has taken two years and an ultimatum. I know he is genuine: he does really seem sexually into me, however, I do have some doubts. Please give me some insights.

Thanks.

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (20 October 2010):

dirtball agony auntI vaguely remember your other posts but based on the info here I have a question to pose right back. If he has made the changes you wanted and everything is going well, then why question it?

Really it could be any number of reasons, but why should they matter? Enjoy it. Explore your sexuality with eachother. Make up for lost time.

Some guys are slow on the uptake. They don't see hints. They literally need to be slapped with something before they take action. Who knows... What's important is you made your feelings clear and he responded in the way you were hoping.

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