A
female
age
36-40,
*lacknBeautiful
writes:Last night I looked in my boyfriends cell phone! Big mistake I saw a txt message from a no name number which said "U Up". He did not reply. I asked him who is was from and he told me that it was a female that he was dealing with when we took a break last summer. My problem is that he wasnt hiding anything but it has opened up so many questions.. Like why his phone is always on silent when we are together. Right now I am not talking to him. I know that I invaded his privacy but I figured he was hiding something. Plus the trust i had for him is barely there at the point.Am I wrong?
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female
reader, romany  +, writes (2 June 2010):
 Sooo, you snooped at his phone, saw a no name number, no reply from him, and he was honest with you. Yet you aint speaking to him!?!??!? I dont think your the victim here, I think he is the one who has had his privacy invaded. Your out of order, big time!. I ended a relationhip a few years back as the bloke snooped in my phone, it wasn't locked, i had nothing to hide, but him doing that made me realise, that he was unable to trust, and that just screams doom, and also, he never had the faith in me to discuss his insecurities, so i could pasify his fears, it was beyond repair then.I think you should ask yourself why you felt the need to snoop, if you dont trust him, again ask why you did it? if he hasn't done anything to deserve you being so snidey, then you need to address your own insecurities. Otherwise you'll be like it in this relationship and any others in the future.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (2 June 2010):
You thought something was wrong, and you checked. Understandable. But in snooping, you've not found anything because you've jumped the gun so quickly. So you don't know anything, and you'll find it all the much harder to find out what's happening. He might have the phone on silent so you can have time together. My phone is always on silent. He didn't have a password on his phone. He didn't hide the texts. He didn't reply. He even told you that it was a woman he was dealing with on a break. There's no evidence he's done anything at all. Not a shred. And now you're not talking to him. Shortly, you'll lose him and be made to look paranoid. If you think he's upto something, get all the facts and proof you can before confronting. Don't just confront over a text that has no meaning. You've jumped the gun, and you have to put it right.
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