A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a real big problem. I've always been a very reserved guy in terms of sex and relationship wise. So is my girlfriend. However, for some reason one day I had the fantasy of seing my girl with another man having sex. However, I liked to keep it as a fantasy to get myself excited and to never tell her at all since I would never share her at all. However, I started thinking that perhaps it wasn't a bad idea, but yet I thought it was. Then, suddenly I thought of something. Since I hate anal sex because I don't think is real sex, i thought that maybe if she had anal sex it wouldn't be a bad idea and I wouldn't care. One day, i brought it up to her and she looked really shocked. After some months, she asked me if what had happened to my idea, I simply told her I still had it on mind. She agree she might try it because it wasn't real sex. So, I invited one of my best friends and told him about it. A couple of days after he came over and had anal sex with my girl. I don't let him put it anywhere else. He can touch her anywhere he wants. He can use fingers and everything but never the penis inside her. However, how normal is this... Am I completely out of my mind or what? HELP!and why do I let her just have anal sex and not normal sex?
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (21 February 2009):
 So, was this a desire of hers or just yours? Of course your having an issue. Anal or not, someone other than you was touching your girlfriend. "Real" sex or not, does that really make a difference? You have an issue because you made a bad judgment call.
I know you had this fantasy, but the girls I've dated, I'd be worried if they agreed to doing something like this. You two need to talk, and you need to tell her how this bothered you, and she may feel the same or devalued, but find out how each of you feel, then work it out together.
A
male
reader, 23ConfusedOne23 +, writes (20 February 2009):
 I don't think that it was a great idea. Fantasy are just what they are. Once you actually do something like this things get complicated because there are emotions involved. No this person or that person might start thingking and who know what could happen...
They also say people who are willing to share their intimacy with someone other then their partner is a red flag because that relationship will most likely not last.
Good luck.
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