A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:We were together for a couple of months. It gets complicated but basically he didnt want to be tied down in a relationship so he broke up with me. He insisted that we remain friends and we hung out a few times since the break up. He would make plans for us to have dinner and stuff but then never called and went to go party. I finally had enough and whenever he called or texted after that, I didnt reply. A month later, I saw him and he asked why I was ignoring him and I said I have been really busy. This was the last time I talked to him, over a month ago. I think I am pretty much over him (I had a fling with another guy) but I have really missed his company and now I feel that ignoring him was a mistake and that he is still immature but maybe I should be patient with him. I dont think I want a relationship with him anymore, as he cant handle it but I do think he will make a good friend in the long run. He was my first so I dont want him to simply disappear out of my life. I know his schedule and I want to "accidentally" bump into him and see if he will talk to me and if he still wants to be friends. Is this a good idea?
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female
reader, shiraz *  +, writes (20 February 2009):
hiyah, nobody can tell you what to do i mean you know the situation better than any one but from what youve said im gunna be the negative one and say no i dont think its such a good idea. i mean yeah look amazin and go out and have a good time and if he notices then great he can see what hes missin but dont do it for his benefit. you dont really want him back i dont think. he never treated you all that well and youve gone a lot of time without him so its not that you cant do it its that you dont want to fully end it yet, you cant live in hope that someone will change, you dont love them for who they really are that way and in his case rightly so. and from what you have said he doesnt seem like hes willing to change for anyone!people who are immature and handle things badly tend to realise it when they decide and then they are usally on their own and its finally hitting them that they let good ones go while they had their 'fun' rather than waste your mind and your time on him use it on something else and somebody who actually deserves it and will give it you back.
your not fully over him, you say your first- you never really do get over your first they are in your head and a bit of your heart all your life wether they be the wrong one or the one you actually married (which neverrr happens btw!)
why would you want to be friends wit someone who hasnt offered you happiness and never lets you know where you stand? everyone needs stability and with him you never have that its like you could go anywhere next and its his choice, why give him the option again? some people really dont deserve that second chance and i think deep down you know that, its just easier said than done it is hard to let go and to be honest i dont think you will im just giving you a different point of view :)
he will never dissapear out of your life, he will be the one that makes random returns when on occastions hes the last person you want to see because youve gone on with life without him. sometimes you need to take the step away in order to gain a future and its having the balls to take that step that makes the future what it is.
bit deep i know! and at the end of the day its your descion go for what you feels right, dont live in the past but on the other hand never forget it. best of luck xxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2009): Yes accidentaly bump into him looking fab,but with a life story very much of your own. You are not hanging around,you look great, but have a story of good fun etc.The tell him to xxxx off.Then smile all the way home. You sound nice and will have a new love that deserves you.Should he discover that he may be losing you,well tighten your seat belt. Good Luck Hon.x
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A
female
reader, susi +, writes (20 February 2009):
Probably not as you've said that you dont want a relationship with him and think if you became mates things would get blurred again. How would you feel if he tried to kiss you etc? Might totally confuse you. if he really likes you then he'll get in touch and as for making plans and then not contacting you and going partying hes not on you deserve better. Sorry if this isnt what you wanted to hear
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