A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I played a little joke on a sort of friend, who I deep down fancy, but haven’t told him.. On a hook up app their profile popped up so I messaged them sent them a few funny pics of people, told them I know them and that to find out who I am they have to play along. I ended up telling him things he didn’t know about me and asked for the top 5 people he wouldn’t want me to be. This guy is hot and has a lot of fan boys so was disappointed I was the only one they listed when I said who they didn’t want me to be. Anyway we sort of talked about booking up, but I said if you was into me like that we would of hooked up already let’s leave it as it is. Anyway he guessed it was me after sometime then ignored me, he text me today and said I’m not ignoring you, little disappointed I asked what’s he disappointed in and haven’t heard since. I feel terrible over a joke, but I don’t get it, why a little disappointed, why carry on talking to me if disappointed... I’ve known I wasn’t his type for a while so it can’t be his disappointed with things I told him... I’ve apologised three times now but anyone else got any therorys
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (30 October 2017):
 I would not look for deep, obscure meanings in what he said, I would take it rather literally.
He is disappointed because he hoped that his secret admirer was some hot guy and he hoped the convo could prelude to some hot hookup, then finding out that , among all his possible fan boys, you are the one whom he does not fancy , must logically have been disappointing .
He kept - and he'll keep, I guess, talking to you occasionally because he is a civil type and knows it's not your fault if you do not fire him up, - but other than that , he just is not interested.
In your shoes I'd leave him be, - I 'd stop overthinking and I'd stop sniffing around him. 3 apologies comes pff as more stalkerish than contrite !
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2017): Sorry, but the joke was really a set-up. It was a toxic little game that many gay people play on the internet. The purpose was to make him think you were someone else; so you could find ways to manipulate and confuse him.
The "joke" as you call it, put him on the spot. He didn't like being held in the dark; while you toyed with him. He felt you made a fool of him. Which I think was the true intent behind your mean little trick. You know you aren't his type. So I feel there is a bit of resentment or vindictiveness behind it.
Do you feel terrible because of his reaction to your "joke;" or sorry that you now feel totally rejected? He is disappointed because he thought better of you.
Sometimes apologies don't undo the damage. Just because you apologize for something doesn't mean the person you wounded has to accept it. He'll get over it. Just let it alone until he does.
I am gay also.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (29 October 2017):
 I second Honeypie's answer.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (29 October 2017):
 It wasn't just the "joke" (I don't see the fun in it either ... but I digress) it was the fact that you were playing games over an app instead of just TALKING to him since you know each other.
Most people don't like playing dumb childish games like this. Now you were HOPING to make yourself more interesting or exciting but you shot yourself in the foot with this.
What can you do?
1. Stop playing games (or jokes as you call it)
2. Accept that this guy isn't into you.
If you are looking for guys to hook up with, pick someone else.
He doesn't REALLY owe you an explanation. You know that, right? You already know it was a dumb move. So suck it up, give him some space and move on.
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