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Why did he have to make himself cum? Am I doing something wrong?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 April 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 2 May 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

hello i have a important question well it is 2 me lol

Ive been kindof seeing this guy on and off for about 6 months we are not in a relationship but oftern sleep together so kinda guess if fuck buddies really

Anyway hears my problam, after sleeping with him so many times he hasnt cum, so yeah i thought there was something wrong with me, but then y mate said it could be the weed he smokes

Anyway last nite, i went round his and nothing else happened apart from me giving a blow job,

He then said he was going 2 cum in a moment( i just thought yeah right lol)

But then as we where kissing he was wanking himself well doing this and he cum,

So basically i wasnt yet again doing anything and just kissing him well he was doing this to himself

but then i thought well i guess he did actually cum

But im also thinking he doesnt like me and that he had 2 use his hand 2 do this,

All my other sexual parteners hve cum during sex so i kinda no im doing ok lol

But im just conserned that im not making him happy and he has 2 do this 2 himself

Does anyone elses guys do this when having sex?

Or am i the one who is doing something wrong??

Any advice???

View related questions: blow-job, kissing, smokes

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A female reader, mediocreland United States +, writes (2 May 2010):

It's not your fault, it could be plenty of reasons on his side.

If you want to fix it, you should a) suggest that he doesn't masturbate for a day or two before you have sex b) have sex while he's sober and not high and c) if you're using condoms, invest in ultra-thin ones.

My boyfriend couldn't cum in the beginning of our sex life, he was a 22 year old virgin so he was just used to masturbating a lot. Once we addressed all 3 of the things I just suggested, the sex was amazing and he cums every time.

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A female reader, person12345 United States +, writes (1 May 2010):

person12345 agony auntA lot of times this just means the guy masturbates so much that a vagina or mouth is no match for his hand's grip. I would say talk to him about it, but since you're only friends with benefits, it probably means you have no grounds to ask him to masturbate less. It does mean it's not your fault though. You're not doing anything wrong. When one partner doesn't orgasm (male or female) it's rarely the other person's fault if they're trying. Plus guys generally (not always) have a much easier time orgasming than women.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2010):

i agree with caring guy, if he does it himself quite often, then he may be too used to it and when you try it, its doesnt work. You're doing everything right.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (30 April 2010):

In 99.9% of cases where something like this happens, it's never the woman's fault. And I'll bet right now that it's not your fault at all. When men are stressed, tired, thinking of something else and about a million other reasons, they won't cum. It's not you at all. It could be that he's used to doing it himself, so maybe he has a 'high tolerance' before he can climax. Again, not your fault. So what I'm saying is it's not your fault. Make sure he's relaxed more and not under pressure, and make sure he doesn't masturbate as much.

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