A
female
 ,
*isztoria
writes:So I've been talking to this guy who I met online for about a week and a half now. He messaged me on a interracial dating site and he lives four hours from my location (which he has no problem with, he's dated women that far before). He owns his own house, just got of the military last year, he's in school and he just seems like a very well grounded guy. We talk about sports, education, lifestyle, you know the typical first things you talk about with a potential boyfriend/girlfriend. So I ask him what he's looking for because at the time I didn't want anything serious, but he let me know that if we hit it off he would be interested in a serious committed relationship. So he contacts me everyday since the time he sent me the message to the interracial dating site and asks me when would be a good time for us to hang out. I was reluctant at first because I don't know him very well and he is nine years older than I am (I'm 21, he's 30). I have a son so I like dating older men because I'd rather date mature men. Anyway, so we talk on the phone for about a half an hour on Wednesday and he says he likes my accent (i'm from the city) and he tells me he thinks I'm very attractive, he likes black women, he tells me he's Italian so told him I find him very attractive and that I'm usually attracted to Italian men blah blah blah. So he had to go because he has class and he said he'd text me later so we can figure out when we could meet for the weekend. I haven't heard from him since! I texted him that night after he got out of class and he didn't respond so I figured he was sleeping because he works and goes to school a lot. The next day I don't hear from him so I text him "hey" and no response. So Friday rolls around and still nothing! Today is Saturday and I said if he didn't contact me by noon I was going to delete him out of my phone which I did and I'm giving up because it's been like 3 days now. My question is why do you thing this guy contact me and give me the run around if he was not interested? I never expressed that I wanted a relationship or anything (i'm not a clingy girl), he was the one that wanted me to come down to his house so he could cook me dinner and take me out. He was a nice and attractive older guy and I'm mad because he probably would have been a great potential boyfriend especially since e didn't mind I had a child because sometimes this is a deal-breaker.
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female
reader, misztoria +, writes (17 July 2011):
misztoria is verified as being by the original poster of the question To the anonymous female, I did tell him I was open to having a serious relationship. I never ruled it out, but I did tell him the reason why I didn't want to rush was because I was in a few bad experiences with online relationships. I was upset because I felt like he had all the qualities in a man I would be open to seeing on a more serious level (besides the fact that he doesn't return texts), but thank you.
A
female
reader, misztoria +, writes (16 July 2011):
misztoria is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI only mentioned that I had a son, he doesn't even know his name because I do not share any information about him besides that fact that I have a son. Anyway, it's very hard for me to find someone to date because I have very limited free time due to my job (we share this in common) so internet dating is the only way I really meet people, plus it can be even harder to find a date because I only date white men (just my preference, don't beat me up for this). I deleted his number out of my phone and I've decided not to have any contact with him unless he had some kind of emergency and that's why he hasn't called, but I thank you for your opinions.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2011): He may have come down with the flu or had a family emergency. He may have decided not to pursue you afterall since you'd already made it clear you weren't looking for a serious relationship. He may have met someone else. Any number of reasons.For someone who doesn't want a serious relationship you're making a pretty big deal about some man you've only been talking to for a week and a half. You haven't invested anything in this man. There is nothing to be hurt or angry about. Mildly disappointed, sure but not this bent out of shape. This is how it works in the dating scene. You talk to, and perhaps meet (but not sleep with) a number of people before finding the most compatible one. You had some good conversations with this guy. You'll have good conversations with other guys. You'll go out on a few dates. Then you'll find the right guy. Enjoy the process instead of getting upset about every false start.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2011): Who cares? You don't know him and have never met him. Move on to someone else!!
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