A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi..PLEASE PLEASE help me. My boyfriend and I were together for 6 months and brokke up a month ago completely out of the blue. It was very unexpected. We were deleriously happy and everyone, even people we didn't know would comment on it. For the last month we have been in contact every day, meeting up and even going on a small trip together. We are very alike in every way but at the start of the week we had an argument and he text me saying ''ya I'm done'' so I just let it go and didn't kick up a fuss. Last night he arrived at my front door a bit drunk and getting mad because someone in the club had told him I had kissed a guy a few weeks previous..which is completely untrue. Anyway, my ex threw some pretty awful insults at me and left. I am so confused. Why did he come all the way out to my house to be the way he was, especially seeing as we're over? Any help or advice greatly appreciated:(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (24 July 2009):
 Unfortunately sweetheart he was jealous and the only way he was brave enough to confront you was to be drunk when he did it. The problem is when he got drunk he also became a moron and by throwing insults at you, he has made you realise why you are no longer with him.
He believed some random guy over listening to what you had to say. All sense or reality goes out the window though when he became so drunk that he probably remembers some of what he said to you but probably not all of it.
Let him know you will not stand for those kind of insults in the future and if he has an issue with you he should at least give you the courtesy of allowing you to explain, however, what gives him the right to an explanation in the first place as you are NO LONGER with him. Tell him you do not want him turning up on your doorstep throwing insults at you, it is where you live with your family and it was uncalled for and totally unnecessary. Let him know that if he ever does anything like that again - next time you will call the police.
He has driven a massive wedge between you now and you cannot forgive his cruel words. You thought at some point in the future you could have been friend's but after this little stunt you cannot see that happening.
This will either be a wake up call to him, however, if you do nothing and don't reprimand him he will think you don't care. Part of me would say don't respond but the other side of me says you don't deserve that kind of treatment from anyone and certainly not from an EX. Who does he think he is eh! You broke up out of the blue and now he thinks he has the right to tell you who you can and can't see. Not that you were but the fact that he reacted the way he did.
It is like, I don't want you and you can't do anything with anyone else either. That is like a dog with two bones.
Stand strong and don't back down. If he wants you back he has to do one hell of a lot of grovelling and in my opinion you have now seen a different side to him so do you really want to be with a guy like that. You deserve much better.
I think the fact that you didn't kick up a fuss when you parted means he is now trying to provoke a reaction out of you. He is obviously not dealing with your break up as well as he makes out. It is his loss. He pushed you aside after one little disagreement. Do you really want that hassle in your life or would you rather have someone who talks through any problems and treats you right and if there was ever any disagreement, you work it out together by communicating and not throwing their rattle out of the pram. Sounds pretty immature to me.
Keep us posted eh!, but don't be a doormat and let him get away with it. You at the very least deserve an apology from him. You may or may not get it but it is a bigger man who admits when they are wrong or bang out of order in this case.
Stay strong sweetheart and he has done you the favour in the long run as he has shown his true colours. Don't settle for second best but for someone who will treat you the right way you deserve.
BFN
Country Woman
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