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male
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anonymous
writes: hi there..... me and my gf are going through a tricky patch i have been seeing her for 8 months now and love her dearly and want to be with her so much i am 29 she is 21, recently i lied about a job i lost and money to her which caused her pain and tears and she has since moved back to her mums til i sort this out, we do get on well normally and i know she loves me though she now tells me she dont feel how she did 1 min shes texting me saying she misses n loves me then the next she dont know what she wants- i so dont wanna lose her i just wanna put it right but have a feeling certain people around her are saying 2 much, the thought of losing her kills me it brings me to tears y cant she see im sorry???
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male
reader, brads5 +, writes (1 February 2006):
thanks for all ur advice...but im 2 upset to say i have lost her through all this, i dont care 4 life anymore its pintless without here i am so sorri and love and miss her so much
A
reader, Your big sis +, writes (26 January 2006):
 She is right to feel wounded. Now she wonders if you had lied about anything else such as your sexual faithfulness. Think of it like this, if you had lied about 2 major deals (1. Job-a big deal, 2. Money-huge deal), what else could you get away with?
She's texting you because she still loves you. Love is not a switch that she can just turn off. She loves you very much, but without trust she's confused. She's probably debating whether or not to take you back. Her options: 1)Go back to he who lies to me and risk being lied to again. Or 2)Stay away in heartache, hoping he changes into a truthful honest person never to lie to me again so I can be with him. Bottom line, you'll need to earn her trust again because frankly chum, you've lost it.
Ask her how you can regain her trust. And try not to lie anymore, it speaks ill of your character. Best of luck to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2006): My boyfriend lied to me about a number of things, some were very silly some were very hurtful. I'm having trouble trusting him again and I know if the trust does not come back then the realstionship is pointless. If she is like me she is hoping and preying that she can find that trust in you again. If you are always open and honest about everything that you do and also trust in her then I'm sure that everything will be ok
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male
reader, brads5 +, writes (25 January 2006):
i am the person who wrote with this problem and i appreciate all ur replies and advice.... a womans view on this wud be good 2 id like to know what she might be thinking , i have done the flowers, chocs etc but just not sure thats the answer i or she wants???
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (25 January 2006):
 She probably can see you are sorry but is having a hard time decideing whether she can trust you again. Sadly in periods of confusion the advice of those close around us does carry extra weight and significance but there is little you can do about that and you don't even know it is the case.
Much more important to you is to set about restablishing the bond of trust you once shared. First I would grant her time and space to heal. Secondly I would set about setting the areas of your life that caused these problems in order. Hopefully she will see you doing this as a willingness to work through these things and she will take heart from your positive example.
Thirdly and finally I would do little loving things which remind her of how you feel. Not necessarily grand gestures although one of those might be in order at this juncture to remind her of the love you have shared. Don't push too hard but do just enough to keep those feelings in her heart and hopefully the hurt will gently erode if you do this. Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2006): sorry is just a word, you must prove to her that she can trust and beleive in you again, sounds like she still loves you but she is doubting herself because she does not know if she can beleave you anymore, so prove it to her that your sorry, get up and do something about it.
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