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female
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*mmalora
writes: I'm a 17 year old female in a relationship with a 26 year old male. The problem is, I lied about my age. My birthday is in March. I will be 18. He thinks I will be 19. Its only a years difference. It could be worse... but I'm just terrified to tell him.The reason I lied was because when we first started talking I didn't think he'd give me the time of day if he knew how young I was.I've never lied about my age before so I've never had to worry about something like this. I want to tell him so badly but I'm afraid he'll leave me the instant finds out I lied. We're only 2 months into our relationship and so far everything is great. I really don't want this to be the reason that it ends. How long should I wait to tell him?and, does anybody have an idea of what his reaction might be?:( Reply to this Question
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female
reader, emmalora +, writes (31 January 2006):
emmalora is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI figured Id let people know, that I told him and he was totally okay with it. And I told him the reason I lied and he wasnt angry with me at all. Thanks to whoever answered my question and helped me get up enough courage to tell him. It couldnt have gone any better! :D
A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (25 January 2006):
 I understand your motivation for lying however the problem with any lie is that they tend to sow discord and mistrust in a relationship no matter how small or understandable. Be prepared for having to win his trust back after this eventually comes out.
As to the timing I would say don't put yourself in a position where the lie is found out, ie let it get to your birthday when it will become instantly apparent you are 18. This is especially the case as it is a significant birthday. Also don't put yourself in a position where you have to lie more to cover the original lie as that is only making things worse. Control things to the point where you are at least in control of when and how he finds out. Tell him you need to talk and tell him in your own words and explain your reasoning.
His reaction is hard to tell. Hopefully he will understand your reasons and look beyond this minor indiscretion. The best case scenario is that he essentially brushes it aside. Worst case is that he is hurt and you need to win his trust back again. It really is impossible for me to tell sitting behind a computer screen which way this will fall. Be prepared for either and take care.
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A
female
reader, b-Rit +, writes (25 January 2006):
 Hey hun! Don't worry just explain to him why you lied and explain that you wanted to tell him but you were afraid of his reaction. If he likes you he will understand and really its only a years difference its not that big of deal im sure he will be just fine with it! But i deffinatley think you should tell him asap! because the longer you wait the harder it will be...just don't worry about it be honest with him and explain to him why you lied and he will be understanding...hope this helps!
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