A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing a guy that has a girlfriend for nearly half a year. It all started with a drunken kiss after a night out then things started to get a little serious. I know it is wrong and I would be so hurt if someone did it to me so i dont know why i continued.We have ended the relationship numerous times because its not fair on his gf but everytime we end it we end up back together.I have fell in love with this guy and he has told me he loves me. He tells me he misses me every day and tells me that no one has ever made him as happy as I do. Yet he wont leave his gf. He keeps saying that she hasnt done anything wrong and cant just leave her. I am being a fool and waiting for something that may never happen. He keeps saying that he needs time to decide what he wants.Being with him is the best thinge ever and I cant help but going back for more. Why cant I be stronger and walk away? I have spoke to friends about this but they always give me answers based on my feelings, what should i do? Am I just being used? Does he love me or is that all lies to keep me sweet? please be honest in your answers.
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female
reader, Counselorgirl  +, writes (7 September 2010):
I guess you keep going back to him because you think you don't deserve something better, meaning a life, a guy, a feeling of couple, etc.
The thing is that a woman is reason enough to be admired by the man. You don't need to wait for him to make up his mind, to deserve a man to admire you. A woman's nature is enough, whether you are pretty or ugly or fat or thin, to have a man loving you above anybody and anything else in the world.
Take into consideration that it might be the right time to end this, or else my prognosis is that later on he will dump you and keep his girlfriend. That's what happens in most cases.
Besides, it's not the same thing to be the one who ends something than to be the one being dumped.
One more thing, things can get worse if she finds out.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2010): you are wasting your time, he doesnt want to leave his gf coz he wants a little bit oof this and a little bit of that. if he leaves his gf to be with you, you wouldn't trust him 100% coz tere is no garantee he wont do the same thing he is doing to his gf to you
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (7 September 2010):
 Why is it so easy for us guys to treat girls so badly and yet be able to keep so many of them on the hook simply by spouting a few romantic lines?? I'll never understand it personally.
This is the most important thing I can say to you...
"Don't trust his words, trust his actions."
He clearly is able to lie to his girlfriend and doesn't seem to have much of a conscience as he's kept this fling with you a secret from her for 5 months.
So what makes you think he isn't capable of lying to you about him loving you?
Saying his girlfriend hasn't done anything wrong and that is the reason why he can't break up with her is absolute bull crap. Truly loving somebody else is a VERY good reason to leave a relationship.
I could say more but I'd be wasting my time... Some people just cling so blindly to false hope that its impossible to get through to them, they have to learn this harsh and time consuming lesson on their own.
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A
female
reader, natmarie +, writes (7 September 2010):
 Hi. I am sorry to hear you are going through this pain. ;o( I know it must be very hard for you to get out of. Why not really try and date other people? You will eventually find someone who is free to love you. Also, it is too conveninent for this guy to make the excuses re: not leaving his girfreind/ next time he calls.. don;t answer the phone, and dont; be so available all the time to see him. It wil take you some time to wean yourself off this guy, but you CAN do it - I suggest the fastest way is to move on to someone else, as quick as you can!! you;d be surprised how fast you go off him. It;s as the old saying goes... ' The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else'!! I wish you all the luck, and hope you are not going to be stuck in this mess for too much longer. Natmaire xx ;o)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 September 2010):
 You are using him just as much as he is using you.
Obviously you want your needs met more then you want a guy in your life, who loves and respects you, or you wouldn't be screwing around with a guy who is taken.
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