A
male
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I'm a freshman in high school and I've got a wierd issue of being rejected and/or friendzoned. I've heard that guys that leak confidence get the girl, but I've tried everything. I try to ask a girl to the movies or something but I always get denied. Along with the fact that I know how to treat a woman as compared to these bulky jerks that only want to get in their pants. Those guys are "hot" whereas I'm moderately attractive. So essentially what I'm asking is why can't I get a girl and how would I go with doing so? I'm also kind of a nerd.
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female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (15 January 2014):
The nerdiest guy in my high school is now one of the most well known ski and snowboard instructors in my state, and has women FALLING all over him. True story.
Be patient, work on developing your social skills. Look up some information on how to tell if a girl is interested in you. If you're "friendzoned", embrace it and be a true friend to her (remember, she has friends who are also female!) A good girl "friend" can give you lots and lots of advice, including what you may be doing wrong, suggestions for how to dress, etc.
Use these things to your advantage, young Grasshopper! It'll turn.
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (15 January 2014):
 I love it when young men like you say they “know how to treat a woman”. You would the first guy ever to know that at your age. And if you know so much, how can you really learn what you need to know? You said you have tried everything…except what you should have tried. High school is about learning…do that first. Nerds are awesome…why? Intelligence is a woman keeper. Stupidity will cost you every woman you ever meet.When you think you know, you don’t. Fools think they know, a wise intelligent person knows.Confidence is to accept yourself as you are, know strengths and weaknesses. Pride has no place in a relationship. Hot guys finish with nothing, wise guys keep what they have. Do not expect a girl to throw herself at you because you walk into a room. Even if they did, that won’t last long. So learn what women want. Listen to them, not just hear them. Understand you are dealing with another person with their own mind and thoughts. You cannot make them like you. There has to be something they see inside you to attract them. Good looks never kept a woman at a man's side. Respect, love, and wisdom does.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (15 January 2014):
 I'd see this predicament as a 'temporary' thing as many girls around your age can be slow and shy to want to even have a boyfriend.
There will still be a hefty amount of 'hormonal' settling happening over the next couple of years and even though our brains say 'go go go', physically, a lot of people won't be fully ready...
So you are probably trying to attract girls you like and psychologically they just arn't ready.
Of course you are going to see those guys and girls who dive into relationships and some people seemed joined at the hip from a very young age but most people take quite a few years to find someone they are truly comfortable and compatible with.
You seem like an intelligent guy and you will discover that life will change a lot over the coming years. The jock types like to have girls hanging off their arm, but you have time to develop and work on yourself.
I probably don't need to mention good hygiene and keeping yourself nice, girls notice these things.
Hang back, take your time to truly look around and get to know people before you even consider having them as a girlfriend...because people don't even reveal their true personalities and feelings until they have known you for a while.
There is nothing wrong with being in the friends zone...friends is good because it lets you in. I have two daughters and they both dated guys who they were friends with first. One of my daughters was oblivious to how much her first boyfriend liked her because he was just a friend and she was kind of clueless to even spot the signs.
Don't label yourself as a geek or a this or that...associate and identify, but don't label, because labels are harder to rid yourself of. Just be who you are and that will attact the right person in time.
Good luck.
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