A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A girl I was dating, and that was very into me about two months ago seems to have lost interest in me. She never said so explicitly, but it's obvious. She no longer initiates conversation, takes a lot longer to reply to my texts and is way more dry in her responses. I feel like I'm one message away from her throwing the Let's Just Be Friends bomb.So I began no contact and it's been like this for a week. The way I see it, I better get a stalemate than a checkmate. I never asked if something was wrong, just stopped initiating. My gut is telling me this is the respectable way to deal with this, to walk away and move on and if she makes contact, so be it, but whatever happens I want to maintain my dignity.Could've I done something different? Or once a girl loses interest it's over for good?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2014): Was this a long-distance relationship conducted over the phone?
If she never gets to see you, or has never met you in person; it's no wonder that she would lose interest. People tend to believe you can carry on relationships via devices the same as an in-person interactive one.
You can't. It's boring and impersonal.
As often evidenced by the fact that people just stop responding. Or, they may keep responding; and carry on a real relationship at the same time.
Does dating mean you spend time together, go out, visit between residences?
If she is unresponsive; then take it to mean she has moved on.
So should you.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 January 2014):
 Even if I was VERY interested in a guy if the ONLY way I had contact with him was via text, I'd be distancing myself too...
texting is no way to have a relationship.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (15 January 2014):
 Could you have some something different? You could have picked up the phone to call her. Texting gets very boring.
Going NC out of the blue is fine unless you're bound to bump in to this woman, if you work with her or have mutual friends. In that instance it would be better to have a civil, formal "farewell" so things are awkward. Otherwise, if you'll never see her again, I'd say it's fine to just leave it as it is.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 January 2014):
 How many actual dates did you two have? Or was this a "over text" dating kind of thing?
Either way, I'm pretty sure she is over it.
I agree, With Auntie BimBim, next time have more ACTUAL dates and instead of texting CALL the girl every now and then. It's kind of easy for a girl to think you are not really serious if you two never go out together. Or TALK. Texting I know is the norm for your generation, but it's pretty fucked up to think you can actually carry on a healthy relationship through texting. Just saying.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (15 January 2014):
 One week and no contact from her it sounds to me your gut was correct when it told you she had lost interest.
It sounds as if most of your contacting each other was via text ... am I getting that right? I think a relationship based on texts and only a minimum of face to face encounters will be doomed to failure, simply because it would be difficult to maintain interest.
So, keep your head up, and next time limit the texts and messages and indulge in more voice conversations and face to face encounters.
Good luck!
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