A
male
age
41-50,
*he quite guy 79
writes:So I'm nearing my divorce. It's been almost 2 yares since I woke up one morning and my wife told me it was over. She was seeing some one else at the time . She has dated a few guys since then.Me no one. Why can't I ever get her off my mind.When will I be okay with are break up.I don't even live in the same state anymore.An she has are son. She won't answer my calls when I want to talk to my son. Why can't I get over her.
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male
reader, Nona1  +, writes (20 March 2011):
Brother I'm going through the pain of being dumped after living with my wife of 11 years. I wish somebody could tell me also when would I get over this. I keep going on the past things and wish I could change this and that but no body can turn the clock back. but it's v painful.
A
female
reader, iloveblue  +, writes (22 March 2010):
 Well, I really really feel for you. Sometimes I don't get why in a relationship, there is always one side who is unfair. Yeah, there maybe some lucky couples who equally feel the same way to each other but most of the time, there is one who is not so sincere. I myself have been to a situation like this and even if I cannot say 100% that I have moved on after a year, now I am determined to help myself out.
You know why, I just woke up and realized, should I allow myself to be like this forever? Waste my time wondering why he left, feeling all the hurt he has caused me. Every detail of the cause of our separation repeating over and over in my head..for a year..i keep on doing this to myself.
And now it's been exactly a year, I definitely don't want to find myself another year being like this. Enough is enough. I can change the way I feel by changing the way I think.
If before, I think: he doesn't love me anymore. He loves someone else. I need to get that love back. Why? Why?
Now, i think: I have lost a year because of him. He will never be back. Accept it. Who is he so lucky to have me still feeling this way until this time? I am too precious to even spend another second sulking about him. This is my life, I will decide how to be happy in some other ways. He doesn't own my life.
I suggest you should first change the way you think about this separation. Believe me, your feelings will change too. It is working with me!!
Good luck bro. Promise yourself you wont find yourself feeling this way about your ex wife next year. Work on that.
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A
female
reader, kayla20 +, writes (22 March 2010):
 its hard to get over someone that you have genuine love for, its even harder when you loose someone you love but doesnt love you back because it makes you question why arent i good enough.i think your holding out for the chance that she might come back to you as the break up was out of the blue, you might feel as though its a stage she is going through and in time shel realise this and come back to you but its not necessarily the case.i no its hard to try and move forward when you have a child with this women you will always have love for her for that reason.my mother divorced my father when i was younger and still to this day he hasnt been in a relationship with anyone else however i believe he is over my mother now but know he still shares some love and care for her he told me it took him a long time to get over her but time was a great healer and he focused everything on work and me and my brother.its one thing taking herself out of the equation but she shouldnt be holding you back from seeing your child, if you cant speak to her about seeing him then maybe you should seek some legal advice
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (22 March 2010):
 She is apart of your past life and you cannot simply forget her. You cannot expunge her from your life or record.
Accept the reality and move on.
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A
male
reader, Brunel  +, writes (22 March 2010):
I empathise with you and I guess you must feel realy down. There is sadly no time scales as to when you feel better over this. It may be that she does not answer as she knows it will upset you more. My estarnged wife has stoped talking and merely passes communications via my 24 year old daughter, as she felt I was not moving on!
The reason you have not dated is because you have sat on your butt all this time. I am not going to make thism pleasant- get off you buttg and get out there ask any female with a pulse and her own teeth out!
Females will not come to you. Get out there today and look at work colleagues, girls you see daily. Divorce is an epedemic there are shedloads of females.
I am 58 - Yes Quite but at least I keep asking as eventually someone has to say Yes! Forget looks and figure, realise there is more to life - look outside the box and include women that you would not normally look at - they are all adorable, beautiful and sexy (well almost). Get out get your haircut and restyled purchase some new clothes and this time next month you will have a date.
Realise you have to move on - yesterday has gone it will never come back. Join a theatrical group, learn to dance, go to evening classes.
Keep me posted, I am not getting out of bed today!
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