A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship for 2 years with a wonderful guy. When I first met him, I had been hanging out with another guy for about 4 months. I was very attracted to this other guy, but I didn't feel comfortable hanging out with 2 guys at once. The older guy had more of a 'player' reputation. He would call me and text me all the time, but in the months we were hanging out, he only came to see me once. Usually, I would go to him, but even that wasn't that often. We also always had at least a couple drinks when we hung out, and I had a hard time trusting him. My now boyfriend, was so great from the start. He lived an hour and a half away, and wanted to come see me every weekend. I know that I made the right decision by continuing to date my boyfriend. However, I just can't seem to stop thinking "what if?" about the old guy. It makes me feel so guilty to think about what could have been had I continued to hang out with him. Why can't I get over a guy that I barely had a relationship with?
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male
reader, Alligator +, writes (10 January 2010):
Try (emotional attractions). These websites may help. I to am trying to get over a "barely new you" relationship that had no way of working out. Maybe you letting go of the older guy is making you feel a bit guilty. Maybe your thinking this could happen to you. Sometimes the thought of someone older means more security or stability. Then again he was a player. Fact is you had a choice. That is why there is 2nd guessing. Sometimes we leave well enough alone. Sometimes we ask for more. Sometimes we made the right decision all along.
A
female
reader, adjc? +, writes (10 January 2010):
i know how you feel. i went a whole relationship wishing for this other guy who i had a very very short fling with, he was to a player. but i spent to entire relationship wondering what if it was the other guy. i felt really guilty. as long as you keep you thoughts in you head and dont do them when you still with your man id say your ok. but i understand how you feel. but dont stay in you current relationship if you feel you are being unfair and your feelings for this other guy could be stronger then to one for you boyfriend. thats what i did. but from what i read it more seems that your attracted to him. your curious. and that gose a long way. a part of you is still hung up on this other guy could be because you want to know what it would have been like
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A
female
reader, Libra1963  +, writes (10 January 2010):
 For you to be thinking of another man maybe there is something wrong with your current relationship. It sounds like you might need to take sometime out and reflect on what you really want.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (10 January 2010):
I think you're probably over him, but a lot of women have that bad boy at one time or another in their life that they weren't able to tame and think about what if they could have tamed him. I don't think you had any real true feelings for this guy, but you followed your gut and got out of it before you got hurt. If you were thinking he was probably a player then he probably was and I'm thinking you probably saved yourself some heartache. There's always an interest in the unknown, but it was probably for your best interest that you got out when you did. Don't have any regrets, everything happens for a reason so don't take the good guy you have now for granted :)
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